New Partner Alcoholic

Posted , 5 users are following.

i have just started seeing someone new. we are both in our late 40s and vaguely know each other through friends 15 years ago for a while. we've recently come in contact again through social media. we live 200 miles apart. i knew when we got back in touch that there were issues with alcohol.

I went to visit him recently, for a catch up and booked myself into a hotel for the night. Within minutes of going round to his place it was obvious there was a great chemistry between us and i ended up staying with him for 3 days.

While i was with him he bared his soul to me. His troubled childhood, struggles with anxiety and depression, insomnia and alcoholism for over 10 years. he's fed up of life, hates drinking but its the only thing he's found to help him get to sleep and to numb his pain. he's tried AA meetings, sleeping tablets, a sleep clinic. he told me how much he drinks a day, that he gets the shakes and sweats by around 10 in the morning, he cant hold down a job and said it was because after a few weeks he decides to stay home and have a drink rather than go to work. He's banned from lots of supermarkets locally for stealing alcohol and from local bars for being drunk and causing trouble. he told me he's incredibly lonely, has lost all of his friends, and most of his family have disowned him. i told him when i arrived that i wouldnt judge or criticise him which is why i think he was so honest with me.

we had an amazing few days. we laughed, had many interesting conversations. he was kind, loving and passionate.

i'm going back to see him next week for a few days and i'm so confused. i'm falling hard for this incredible man, but i'm so afraid for him and his health. he doesnt eat much, has constant pain at tbe top left side of his chest. he was supposed to go to his doctor recently for a heath check but didnt go as he was afraid what the results would be.

i know i shouldnt get involved, that i should just walk away, but i dont think i can.

is it a positive sign that he's admitted the extent of his alcohol dependency and talked freely to me about it? what can i do to support him? i'm well aware that change has to come from him.

Thank you

2 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Edited

    Hello Cally. Welcome to you. What a long and truly honest reply. Visit his GP and full tests and explain the situation if he can. I doubt that he can, but you can explain it all to the GP if he will allow you. Check out The C3Foundation. TSM = The Sinclair Method. 73% success rate and message Joanna who has helped 100s of drinkers already. Best of luck. Regards Robin.

  • Edited

    As Robin suggested, try to contact Joanna. Best wishes.

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