New partner with anxiety

Posted , 2 users are following.

Afternoon

I'm in a new relationship, my partner has anxiety, she has panic attacks struggles to sleep among other symptoms.

She's let me into bits but is still very gaurded about a lot of things, without going into masses of detail, and what I know it seems to stem from break up with her ex and how he treated her. She has told me a lot of the things that happen, and I'm not surprised it's had affect on her.

In the last week I've been told how lovely iam and how much she appreciated what I've done for her.... Then was told she was having a bad day and would take a few days to come out of it..... Messaging has been very 1 sided (which I don't mind, I want her to know I'm here) we have spoke everyday and I've kept conversation as normal as possible.

Saturday we had plans to stay at hers to go out Sunday, we had coffee when she broke down and said she can't do it any more, not all in order what follows but was said....

You(Me) deserve better

I'm a mess

I'm not ready

It's not you, it's me.

I was taken back because the previous weekend I'd seen her looking at me in a way that I knew she had feelings for me.

We spoke for a while, I left and we agreed I cold go back later to carry on conversation, I'd tried to educate myself in the week leasing up to this weekend.

I told her there was no pressure on anything regarding us as a couple, I was there for her without judgement with a ear arm shoulder whatever, I told her I didn't want to give up on her/us. We could get through and I wanted to be by her side whatever (we have known each other a while longer than we have been seeing each other) I asked if she had feelings for me she said she did and I said I'm going nowhere.

I txt Sunday to apologise, as felt I may of blurted a little, she said it was her, she had been a pain, yet here I was still messaging her.

Is this normal? Any help welcome!

I think she's wonderful, but I don't want to pressure it

0 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • Posted

    anxiety and stress takes a toll on people. Sometimes they seem to be just fine because they hide it so well. I do that too. It can be difficult to be in a relationship because the person is trying to deal with the anxiety while nurturing a relationship.

    She is most likely feeling like she needs to work on her self in order to be able to give to you in a relationship. And that is very true because you can’t give somebody something that you don’t have.

    she may like you a lot or even love you but I think she’s trying to tell you that she’s having a hard time with herself.

    Maybe just give her some space and just tell her if she needs anything to let you know. anxiety can be a very long battle and sometimes a lifetime.

    Hopefully she can get some counseling to help her manage this. it can be very difficult to try to do alone. take care

    • Posted

      But the push me pull me is all part of it?

      We ended up keeping plans, albeit altered slightly.

      But today seems like she's distant

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.