New to Duloxetine after spending 4 nights in hospital - my story day by day

How you doing today small steps? I can't got some reason at all think of anything positive in my life...it's just negative after negative after negative...how is that possible on medication? if you don't mind me asking how has your depression reared it's ugly head again? was it something that happened in your life that's triggered it. I wish I could just love myself like I see other people who like themselves. Hope you having a more positive day today :-)

hello, been to the docs today, he's changed my meds to Mirtazapine. I guess its a good thing as this one might work however im really scared as im having to lower my intake of duloxetine before starting the new one. I went through hell coming off Venlafaxine and im dreading the next week as I come off Duloxetine. this time its going to be harder as I HAVE to go to work and wont be under care of Crisis.

hope ur feeling the benefits of the 90mg of duloxetine ur doc has given u.

well I hope the mirtazipine works for you! I really hope it does:-) I have heard that coming off duloxetine is a bit of a nightmare but make sure you taper really slowly! I'm not looking forward to coming off it when I need to. I've had two good stable days now on duloxetine on 90mg at night so hopefully that will continue... did you feel better after upping the dose of duloxetine? or did it feel like it's working and then pooped as they say after a few days? I'm going back to work in a week so let's see how that goes for me.

It would be good to hear how the tapering off is going from the duloxetine if you get a chance to post. I unfortunately have a cold which dampens my spirits! I could do with several days in a row in feeling better! I do however still have work to tackle when I'm back! I have an older brother who constantly puts me down and says I should be in work and says things to my parents (which I live with) like 'he doesn't want to know a brother who lives off the state!' - it's a bit nasty and he doesn't get depression and I think he never will! I often think it's the weak minded that are depressed...but surely that's not true??? what do you think? it's harder when you have some members of the family who are kind of at war with you even though I'm trying to beat this again!

..and I'm not living off the state and never have by the way :-) not that there is anything wrong with that for people who genuinely need it!

hi, families are hard to deal with when u have depression. I confided in my brother and told him that I nearly topped my self and ended up on a MH ward, he was really nice about it on the phone and said that he's there for me blah blah blah, but shortly after that he was really nasty and made me feel worthless, I had not long been discharged from the ward.

my mum wasn't very helpful at the start, she would say things like "what about douglas?" (my dog) "what would happen to him if u did that?" "you just need to pull your socks up." "just get on with life" it wasn't until I lost my rag with her that she started to understand my condition. I had spoken to my key worker about my mum and gave me some leaflets to her and he arranged a phone call to give her any help she needed to help support me.

I wouldn't wish depression on anyone, its a very lonely, painful, crippling disorder!

people just don't understand the horror of depression.

on top of the depression, I have some bowel problems which is being investigated, I'm not really sure whats going on, it could be nothing but it could just as easly be Cancer.

my boss said to me if I take any more sick I will be on a final warning. I said to him what if my bowel problem turns out to be cancer? the bastard said well that would change everything cancer is a life threatening condition. what an arse hole! what an utter prick! how can u say depression isn't? I fight off thoughts of suicide every min of every day! how can u say that? at any moment of weakness I could be dead!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, coming off the Duloxetine, its ok at the moment. I haven't been dzzy or feeling sick yet mind u im only on day one, I have noticed however that I just cant rest, I cant sit down for more than five mins. I was up at 4.30 this morning hoovering the front room, I haven't stopped cleaning all day. I feel soooo tiered, I tried to have a sleep earler but I just couldn't relax, my mind was racing with thoughts and I ended getting up and cleaning out the fridge.

sorry if iv gone on a bit.

yes your boss does sound like an idiot!! yes family is indeed very tricky and yours sounds a bit like mine and I bet most families are the same as it's a very hard thing to see a family member who is depressed but it's just as hard, actually a lot harder for the depressed person. It's probably easier on someone that is not emotionally attached to an extent! at least my boss has been supportive but I'm not sure what it will be like when I'm back - I have to be strong. I know it sounds daft but doing something else to occupy your mind could help for a short while. Do you live alone? if yes then it must be harder but sometimes I did not want to be alone but other times I just wanted to be left alone! screw my brain for giving up on me at times! I know medication is not the answer but when they work it's usually a life saver and I hope soon you will start to feel better on mirtazipine and keep me updated. I went to the doctor today and she said if the muscle twitching is too much then we would have to switch as there is nothing else to help with twitching. As I think it's starting to work so no point in changing and she did say that the twitching will eventually get to a point where it doesn't bother me..let's see. So when you changed your dosage on duloxetine to 90mg...did you say it helped? but then didn't?

I sincerely hope the bowel problems is not cancer!!! both illnesses are life threatening so your boss needs to wake up about realities of some peoples lives.

yeah I live on my own, its quite nice to be honest cos id much prefer to be alone, I just hate pretending everything is alright and having to smile through the pain.

yeah, when I increased my Duloxetine I felt better for a couple of weeks but I don't know if that was just me or the increase. around that time, I stopped crying, not because I felt better but because I just didn't care about anything, I became empty and emotionless. I aloud people to do what ever they wanted to me, I just turned into a robot for awhile. I also went through a period of being very aggressive and angry towards anyone, which is just not like me at all. but that only lasted about a week or so. However last week I was on the London underground, it was very crowded and someone was poking me in the back, huffing and puffing behind me, trying to get past me to catch the train, they pushed me and as they did I shoved them back, luckily they were rushing so it didn't really impact them to much. What scares me is that im normally a submissive person and just lets things be to avoid a scene.

I must admit that being at work does keep my mind focused on the job at hand however finding the energy and will power to get to work takes a great deal of effort and I become very tired very quickly when im at work.

The way I feel at the moment I really don't care if it is cancer, in fact if I died from it it would be easier on my mum than committing suicide.

ive been on 60mg for two days now and haven't really been effected by the withdrawal, I've been very restless and unable to sit still for more than 5mins, but its been bearable.

I start my first dose tonight, iv got my fingers crossed it works.

thanks for your kind words Tryingagain.

mmmmmm, I'm hoping it's not the same for me where feeling better only lasts for a week or two after I've increased the dose - so that feeling better didn't last on 90mg? I am focusing on going to the gym and yes living alone has it's pluses but when I was thinking of ending it all it scared the shit out of me (I'm sure it's the same for you) and having nobody around me maybe I would have gone through it! who knows and it's an awful feeling so I know a bit about what you are going through. is this your very first experience of anti depressants? when you say you start your first dose tonight is that the mirtazipine? hang in there as you need a break after our conversations and you will get it soon :-)

my appetite is back which must mean it's working for me! I pray to GOD it is and for you too soon :-)

Hi small steps,

How are you doing? not heard from you lately so just wanted to know how you doing? I've been doing alright but today it's been really high on my anxiety list as I'm back in work tomorrow after 6 weeks off! crapping myself to say the least and this time around is different as my whole team knows it's depression and I'm not sure how all will react towards me :-/ How's the tapering etc?

hey Tryingagain,, how did your first day back go?