New to herpes...seeking some advice on how to live my life
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi all,
I've been combing the internet looking for answers to the 1000 questions I have, so I figured I might as well ask them directly. Backstory: about a week ago I scratched what I thought was a razor bump while shaving and didn't think anything of it. As time went on I got really intense flu symptoms, everything ached, I was huddled under the blankets with pants, a jacket and socks, and I was physically shaking from being so cold (in August). Then I got the throat swelling and the discharge, and at that point, like any sane person would do, I self-diagnosed myself on the internet and freaked out. Yesterday, I went to the doc and confirmed what I already knew. The doc gave me the Valtrex but the pain is so bad. Sitting hurts. Standing hurts. Peeing hurts. Wearing pants hurts. My butt even hurts! All i know is ill do everything I can to not have to feel this pain again.
I just started seeing someone new-ish. He was an old friend of mine, total sweetheart, we were finally single at the same time so we started getting together. He knows about all of this and he doesn't want to lose me over it, but I'm still afraid to give it to him. He was tested and doesn't have it. My ex, however, is a lying/cheating jerk. So it's more probable that it came from him. But I really don't rememeber noticing any bumps or coldsores on any of my partners.
So for my questions:
(1) Should I take the daily valtrex, or see how my immune system does on its own first?
(2) How frequent are outbreaks on and/or off the valtrex? (I understand it probaby varies)
(3) Is it really true you can transmit it from a towel or the toilet, that just seems kind of silly?
(4) Does the pain lessen over time? Like are future outbreaks going to be this terrible?
(5) If taking valtrex and not having a breakout, do you have unprotected sex? (I understand it can still transmit)
(6) Is it possible I got it from my partner even though his blood test came through negative?
(7) Tips and tricks to ease the pain? I've seen cornstarch, aloe....
(8) How long is the average outbreak, on and/or off valtrex?
(9) Does drinking really cause outbreaks?
(10) Any other tips, tricks or stories that might help me believe my life isn't over? I just can't help thinking, what if I get an outbreak on vacation, at my wedding, on my honeymoon. Even this week I've had to cancel so many things becasue I don't want to get out of bed. How do I live life with HSV? 
Thanks in advance for the help (sorry it was so long)
0 likes, 4 replies
FelizCastus sammy1128
Posted
Given the timing, you would think it came from your current guy. Are you sure he tested negative? What type of test did he have done? There are several and some are not as good as others or outright unreliable. Did you see his results?
As for your questions, it's best you look at my pinned discussion at the top of this forum. I address many of your questions and include numerous external links. If you still have questions after all that, I'd be happy to help.
Miruex sammy1128
Posted
Okay so I don't have the answers for everything but I will answer what I know as in depth as I can
1: Everyone is different so I would advise you to ask your doctor about this. But seeming as though doctors can be less of help with answering questions I would say hold off on just taking them daily off the back. Allow your body some time to get used to the meds first. Some people don't need to take them daily but instead only when they have the outbreaks and their fine! So see how your body takes it. If your outbreaks are frequent, say twice or three times a month then you up the dosage.
3: Herpes is transmitted on contact with skin. So no you couldn't give it through a toilet, but say your using the same towel you dry your infected area with and then your partner uses it right after then yeah maybe something would happen but I don't see anyone being that careless about it. Just wash your hands after touching the infected area and things should be fine.
4: Over time, your outbreaks will lessen in pain and all that crap. Just remember to take care of yourself.
5: Remember that even sex can trigger outbreaks. The friction, whether your wearing a condom or not, can cause one but I'm not sure how this varies if your on the meds or not but still that's obviously not a good sign.
6: Herpes can lay dormant in the body for years without any symptoms which may or may not have been the case with you (since you don't remember any symptoms with past partners) or him. Of course an active swab test and blood test can give different results. So I'm not sure but you should do more research in that.
9: As I explained before with the sex, friction can cause outbreaks. Smoking. Drinking. Practically anything that isn't keeping that PH balance in check can trigger an outbreak. It's like everything with your body is more sensitive to unhealthy things but the good side is that it helps you take better care of your body. I mean don't get me wrong you can't just cut drinking out of your life entirely but just make sure that afterwards you drink a detox tea, or something to flush out all that bad stuff and you'll be fine.
Now here's how I'm dealing with herpes. I'm 17, and I self diagnosed myself too about a week ago. I was devastated at first too but when I started reaching out to people on this site and doing research on my virus I realised it wasn't really that bad. Just bumps that will go away if I take better care of myself overtime. As far as sex goes, it isn't the end of it, everyone with the virus can still have sex if they take the precautions and are careful. Some people really just don't care about herpes. Of course I haven't found that person yet, but there are also dating sites for people with herpes. I'm still struggling with accepting it cause I'm still adjusting, but I sometimes forget about it until a guy tries to approach me in a flirtatious manner. But overall it's gets better, it gets easier, we're not dead, and it could be worse. Hope this helps <3
Guest sammy1128
Posted
Hey!!! Life isn't definitely over. I was diagnosed one year ago, summertime... By that time my boyfriend refused to believe that there was a chance it could be from him. He tested himself and the results were negative, but without any previous symptoms u can't really tell if you have the virus asleep or not. I ended up my relationship and during one year, till now, I couldn't go out with anyone. Just to think about it I would have nervous breakdowns, just to think about connecting with people more than friendship. This June I met a guy that completely made me think differently. We start going out and we ended up together. I told him about the herpes and the next day I thought he wouldn't text me anymore. 2 days after the big conversation he replied to me and we talked about the issues and what can we do to sort it out as a couple now. I'm also taking suppressive treatment with aciclovir tablets and it helps so much.. I used to have outbreaks every two weeks. I think it's normal to isolate ourselves on the beginning bc we don't really know how to deal with the new circumstances... But believe me, one day you will meet someone that will show you that herpes can't stop you.. It's just a virus and 9 out of 10 people have it!
FelizCastus Guest
Posted
If your ex was negative for IgG at the time or after your outbreak, then he was actually negative. When the virus is dormant, a person will still test positive for IgG after the window period (in this case, 3+ months from infection). Just fyi.
Also, the stats are two-thirds of the world's population has HSV1 (so about 7 out of 10), 1 out of 5 have HSV2 in the US, and about 1 out of 10 have HSV2 in most other developed countries. Not 9 out of 10 in any of these cases.