Posted , 10 users are following.
I have never joined a forum before and never thought I would ever join one like this.
You see the thing is is that I have always, always been sad for as long as I can remember as a result I struggle to interact socially with others then I entered secondary school became a teenager and thought things would change for me but they didn't. I went from being sad to being angry as things did not look up for me the way I hoped they would.
I am a victim of child abuse, domestic violence and sexual abuse.
Somehow I always hoped that one they things would improve for me, things would get better and I would finally be happy but things just got worse the older I got.
I have attempted suicide once in my life and have became suicidal for a very long time but it got better so I thought.
It is a real struggle for me to open up to people and share my thoughts and feelings even if I am female. I find it difficult because I don't trust people, I feel like people are judgeing me and perhaps mocking me in the process or they may use it against me and most of all I feel as though people don't understand and they diffinately don't care.
But throught all of this I have believed there to be a light at the end of the tunnel but not anymore. I have given up hope that good things will ever come my way.
I have no family no friends (meaning no social life) no job no nothing. Just a loser who is overlooked in life, ignored generally, I feel as though I don't exsist.
I have tried anti-depressants, talking to a councellor, mental health nurse, GP and nothing. None of those have helped one little bit.
It has gotten to the point where I am just completly fed up and sick to death of life. I really truly hate my life and myself, I hate what I see in the mirror, I hate the fact that I have absolutly nothing to show for my pathetic existance.
I just hate the way I feel and I want the pain to stop but thats just too much to ask for isnt it
I read other peoples posts and its nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way
1 like, 11 replies