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New to this: Trying to stay on the wagon

Posted , 12 users are following.

kerry30362
kerry30362

First time I've posted in anything like this and as I do my eyes start to well up. I have a drinking problem and it's pretty much brought my relationship down to shattered pieces. I started drinking heavily over 2 years ago. I gave up smoking and found another kick and buzz to replace it. Originally, I thought I just had an issue with certain drinks, e.g. I believed that I couldn't drink white wine because it made me aggressive and I lost all control. I now realise it's any excessive drinking and I'm at the point where I need to stop. Gradually I've been building up from a few glasses to a bottle and a half to myself, often whilst I'm alone. It's destructive to my relationship and I need to kick it if I am to salvage it. I feel scared and anxious and just want to jump through this initial stage but know I cant and have to fight it out. I feel embarrassed and like a fool. I've got so many regrets and just want to be alcohol free. Ideally, I'd be able to drink in moderation and manage my consumption, but I think that will only last so long and after a few drinking sessions will turn into a habit again. I'm not sure what I'm expecting from this post, but I needed to tell someone other than my partner. 

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  • kerry30362
    kerry30362

    Posted

    Firstly, thank you to everyone for contributing, it makes me feel a bit better about my situation and gives me some options that I will consider. It's quite relieving to hear that I'm one of many people who have had a problem with alcohol and there is great support out there, and I am very grateful. 

    I've fought off the idea that I have a problem for a long time; I guess like most! Whilst I've been 3 days clear of touching a drop (and I know this is very early days and there's going to be a lot of testing times ahead), I'm worried that whilst I wish I could give up all together and the idea of being completely teetotal is something I really like the thought of, I am scared that there's a high chance of failure and I'll give in to temptation after I feel I've done my period of beng sober so of course deserve a drink. Resulting n me losing control and back into old habits. When I have drunk, I can't remember a time when I thought 'hey that's too much, I'll make this the last one' so I'm not really sure where to go next. I want to be teetotal, but I know realistically that won't happen despite the desire. I may be able to do it, I don't know, but it's that uncertainty and risk I'm afraid of. The blocker sounds great, but does it work for everyone? Do I owe it to myself and my partner to stay off it completely (I've done so much damage already). I'm constantly anxious and questioning myself and my abilities. On the plus side, after only 3 days, I've noticed a considerable difference in my appearance and I think the way I feel and I like it!

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree kerry30362

      Posted

      Kerry -

      The Sinclair Method has about an 80% success rate, but it does take some time to normalize the neural pathways that override your control over alcohol. 

      There is also Campral and RHGB is the house expert on that. You take up to 3 doses a day and the craving simply goes away. I don't know what the success rate for that one is, but over at Options Save Lives ( a Sinclair Method discussion board) we do see some that have tried Campral without success. Fortunately, Naltrexone is an option for them. There are other options yet for Medically Assisted Treatment (MAT), but if you can get by without the use of such drugs (via AA or secular method of abstinence) you should do that. If you've tried, relapsed, tried, relapsed harder (etc, etc), then MAT is probably the avenue you should investigate.

      I'm not clear on your drinking style, are you more of a daily drinker, or do you binge?

    • kerry30362
      kerry30362 ADEfree

      Posted

      Thank you, that's useful to know. it was daily and was going upto about a bottle and a half to two bottles of wine an evening at home. I have binged in the past on nights out when I didn't drink so much in the evenings. 
    • ADEfree
      ADEfree kerry30362

      Posted

      Well, the nice thing about The Sinclair Method is that you simply slowly stop drinking so much because you lose interest in alcohol, so it helps some people stay out of detox as their drinking levels gradually decline. 

      Since you're a few days clean, you could opt for Campral instead, as I believe you have to be off the drink entirely for at least 5 days before starting that. Both workable options. 

    • ADEfree
      ADEfree patricia44773

      Posted

      I do spend a lot of time at the keyboard these days. That may well change as the weather warms up!
    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 kerry30362

      Posted

      HI Kerry. My advice is to stop completely since you will look and feel better as you have already noticed. You will start remembering things suddenly and also sleep much better. I stopped 5 years ago for 3 or 4 months and had a "celebratory drink" to congratulate myself and did not stop!! Ruined it all...stopped again 9 or 10 months later and promised myself NEVER to drink again and it worked. 3 yrs+ but I had a really strong desire to stop. We are all different but I suggest the Sinclair Method which I did not use but many here have spoken so highly about and it seems to be working extremely well. Bes of luck to you! Robin
  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 kerry30362

    Posted

    kerry..seems your post took off in some directions.

    ​But also seems like you are not here....how are you doing?

     

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