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Here's my story..
Me and my partner had been together a year was really happy, he had a son with somebody else when we met, he was very young still a baby but my partner was having a lot of trouble gaining access as his ex partner wouldn't allow him to see his boy there was a lot going on with it, I stuck by him and supported him..
Middle of January 2016 I found out I was pregenant it was a big shock as I was on the pill, I was around 4 weeks, I just cried because I was so shocked and wasn't sure what to do, we spoke a lot about what we should do, he straight away said don't worry we can sort this, I went to the doctors to book an abortion it seemed the right thing to do, he was having trouble seeing his son now, we didn't live together didn't have much money, so I booked the appointment I got told I had to wait another 2 weeks before I could have the surgical opperation so by the time the day came I was 9weeks pregnant, I had to go to the doctors to have a scan see how far I was and everything, my partner came with me, I went in the room on my own I wanted Him to come in with me but he didn't I layer there and saw my baby on the screen a time little baby growing, the day came to my abortion he came with me and stuck by my side...I now would of had a 3 month old baby and it kills me everyday to think I got rid of it, I regret it so much and I still cry to this day, I find it so hard because he has a little boy already who is now 2, so when I see them bonding together I get so upset because that's all I want, I don't feel I'm ever going to be happy and back to myself again untill I have a child, end of January will be my year mark since I had my abortion, I get days where I have so much anger in me and hate in myself for what I did I just take it out on him, it's not helping our relationship but I feel he doesn't care, he never gets upset about it, he never talks about it, if I'm upset he always asks what's the matter but I feel if he felt how I felt about it he wouldn't need to ask he would know that's what I'm thinking about, I feel that because he has a child already our one didn't matter because it wasnt born or I wasn't very far gone...
I still feel like I'm pregnant all the time and find myself doing pregnancy tests more then ever, I dunno if that's because I'm hoping I will be.
I want more then anything to have a baby and I want him too aswell
I'm sick of having so much hate and anger in me for a decision I wish I never made.. not really sure why I wrote on here really I guess I just needed someone to talk to who I don't know, I want him to feel how I feel the loss I feel I'm full of so much anger and sadness, I love him so much and I want to be with him forever but I feel my attitude is making up drift apart
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