Newly diagnosed - looking for advice

Oh I thought the tablets would help clear the sores up too. It's not horrendous pain when I'm just sitting down, but going the loo is bad.

So Saturday 26th March is when I think  he passed it to me orally. By the next night I was itchy and thought I was getting thrush or something so started using some cream. By the Tuesday I had a little kind of paper cut near the perineum (sp?) ... I still thought nothing of it to be honest. But by Friday I was urinating loads and had a bloated tummy and it was so so painful to go the loo... I got cystopurin, thinking maybe I've a UTI along with the thrush. Then the blisters appeared and I started googling, then literally RACED to a family planning place on Saturday morning. She confirmed it visually and did the swabs to see if type 1 or 2, it'll be 2 weeks before I get those results.

So Saturday afternoon I spoke to him about it, he was full of sorries and said he had no idea and that he knew he got coldsores but that it wasnt even an actual coldsore he had, it was a half healed up cut from busting his lip playing sport. At this point he was saying the right things, but I knew he didn't mean them, you know when you can tell someone is just paying lip service. He said look we'll talk to someone and figure out how to manage it and how we can still have a sex life...and I said I comepletely dont blame him, it was an accident and sure he didn't know and it could happen to anyone... then by that evening when we had to go out for a meal with friends he wouldnt even speak to me or look at me , treated me like a piece of crap... so we had a row - he then used that row as an excuse to pack up his stuff and walked left... said "take care" and literally skidded off in the car, couldnt get out quick enough.

I'm 33, living in Ireland. Honestly no one speaks about HSV here, I didn't even realise it could be trasnferred from mouth to genitals with a half healed cut. We also dont get the meds paid for so if I were to go on the Voltrex as a suppresant it would cost me €120 (approx $140) per month, i just cant afford that!

I'm at my wits end, absolutely sick. Not only dealing with all this but have been treated so badly by someone I thought cared about me. It's one of the worst things I've ever been through.

Yeah he has hsv one the virus is in his system a simple cut can cause you to be damaged for life ..

But for him to up and leave and he is the one that caused this to you is absurd like seriously.

But I can tell you males are extremely careless and indenial when it comes to any disease . The person that infected me is still going Around having sex and has both hsv and HPV .. They just don't care .

Females are more emotional when it comes down to it.

I can tell you that your days will get better .. It's not the end of the world you don't have AIDS .. You won't die .

And if you have hsv 1 like the type I think you have you wont even have that many breaks outs to where you have to take the suppressive medicine .

Unless you plan on getting into an monogmous relationship .

Whatever your results come back as it will be okay .

God wouldn't put you through it if he didn't think you would make it !

I guess I can't be sure if he has 1 or 2... You can get 2 in the mouth also can't you? This waiting for results is awful!

I also wonder, I have had cold sores before, one that recurs in the same place.: so say that's type 1, wouldn't I have the anti bodies for that by now and then therefore if it was type 1 in his mouth I wouldn't have got it genitally? So the likelihood is that I've got type 2 down there?

I'm afraid to even go near my nephews or my friends kids now to be honest, even when the sore have cleared up I'll be afraid to kiss them

In case it is type 1 in my mouth

" But I can tell you males are extremely careless and indenial when it comes to any disease . The person that infected me is still going Around having sex and has both hsv and HPV .. They just don't care ." 

I'm knew to the forum but think thats a bit harsh cartercali - not all men are like that , I never had any symptoms and had never had it come up on a health check when I went to the sexual health clinic  ( I always had a sexual health check up before I started a relationship with a new partner for peace of mind ) and when it happened it happened in the worst possible way by giving it to my girlfriend and to see her go through that pain was the worst feeling I've ever experienced because of the guilt and upset I felt from having caused it even if it was unknowingly - so much so that I've not been with anyone since her 

I'm saying from experience sir.

Compared to females , males are careless. They will be completely indenial about the disease and go on living life like they don't have anything .

Just passing it on .

Like i stated im saying from my opinion and experiences, and I have been on this forum for quite sometime .. All the experiences and situations a lot of these females post ... It's about a man infection them and not telling them they had the disease so now the female is stuck with it ..

No offense intended . I'm simply stating what I know . Take it or leave it

Not coping too well either. My swabs were positive for type 2. My OB has cleared up but I do still get a little itch in the same place the sores were.. The clinic had a look as they were doing a swab for other sti's and said all look ok and they weren't too worried. Over here (Ireland) it's extremely rare for anyone to be on suppressive meds so at the end of the day I'll have to cope with it! I've started taking lysine and echinacea, for all the good it will probably do.

My ex called me this morning and got his positive results back today too... No big bloody surprise there. I'm actually surprised he even told me the truth, he's yet to get his bloods back and I don't think he'll be honest about them, I think he's going to try swing it on me. But the clinic said the reaction of my body was typical of someone just having been passed the virus (swollen glands etc) It's almost a month since my OB now so I'd say too late for me to bother getting bloods as the anti bodies will prob have built up a bit. I know in my heart he either knew he had it already or cheated on my and caught it recently. He has taken it way too calmly for someone who just found out they've an incurable STI!

I'm petrified at the thought is telling a partner...

I can deal with the physical part of it all but not the rejection etc I'm doing a few sessions with a counsellor to try get some perspective but to be honest once I'm alone I feel sick

To my stomach thinking about it all. Have you thought of counselling? X

I think perhaps I need to because I can't settle within myself. It's constantly on my mind. I'm worried sick over it.

I am sorry for all you're going through. This is totally awful. I can't even believe in this day and age we don't have a cure. I've read everything online, called herpes uk many times... Went for another check up at Gum clinic...nurse was concerned as I'm so upset... "You don't have it now so you put it at the back of your mind" wish I could.

I keep getting odd tingles all over my body, not where the outbreak was. Just odd sites for seconds... Connected or am I paranoid?

I know,It's hard to believe there isn't a cure! I feel sometimes like my skin is crawling a bit, and for a while even after the outbreak my whole abdomen and bum/genital area as far as the top of my thighs just felt really tender.

Have you confided in any friends who you can speak to or anything? I've a great few friends, I've only told a couple that I can trust but having someone to talk to helps.

I don't know if it's related or I'm just sensitive now to all these feelings I wouldn't normally pick up on.

I've only told my sister, I know I'm just a wreck over it, not knowing if it will recur. Spoken with herpes association uk, they are quite dismissive and play it down. I'm full of if onlys... Which don't help I know. How to move on...just wish I could forget it. Thinking of you...

As I write this the tingles are in my shin! I feel for you in starting again and having this. In this time have you had many outbreaks?

No I only just got passed it a few weeks ago, so first outbreak. I was at my doc this morning with what feels like a Uti and a really swollen lower abdomen, this has happened three times since I got herpes about 3 weeks ago so I was worried maybe something was wrong inside too but he did an internal and doesn't think anything going on up there but maybe I've got post herpatic neuralgia... I know nothing about that so another thing for me to research! He said it could explain my tender lower back and tummy area and the skin crawling feeling. Have you any other things going on or just the tingly itch?

Oh sorry I thought that comment was in reply to me! 😂

Sorry to hear you're going through additional problems. Jeez hoping it eases. I just get odd tingles like in my leg, feet, all over in random places for seconds...

Nothing in the place there were lesions though...