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Newly diagnosed with genital herpes, help please :(

Posted , 41 users are following.

r35506
r35506

I'm a 25 year old female, always been in long term relationships and never slept around. Two months ago I met the man of my dreams, I changed my life to be with him. Before having sex, we both had a 'full' STI check which came back clean for us both. We didn't realise a 'full' STI check does NOT include testing for herpes.

We live in different countries, I have just been to visit him for two weeks and during the second week (5 days after we first had sex) I got really ill. Fever, aches, tonsillitis and then two small blisters on my vagina. I spent a fortune visiting doctors and eventually had swabs done and got my results monday morning. I am positive for type 2 herpes. Since then i have developed new sores on my vagina. My other half is devastated that he gave it to me, he has never had any symptoms. 

I am devastated. I feel disgusting. Like no one will ever want to be near me again. I feel like I have gone from having everything to offer to being classed as damaged goods. I was so happy the first week we were together, so happy, and when I was ill he was so supportive and kept me going but I was irritable and sick. Now this has happened he is being so supportive and amazing, but I can't get over the fact I now have herpes and I don't know if I even want to be with anyone ever again. I don't think I will ever feel sexy again. My vagina is a mess. I know it will clear eventually, I hope, but I will always be paranoid that it will spread to my face (I know this is unlikely with type 2 but it is possible). How do you even tell someone new that you have herpes !? "Hi, i like you and want to have sex with you but I am prone to cold sores of the vagina, so if we have sex you will probably get herpes" ?!?! No one will ever go for that. Ever. 

I've always been terrified of cold sores and warts. Now I actually HAVE the herpes virus. I can't believe this has happened. I have been taking aciclovir 400mg three times a day for 7 days now and new blisters are still forming. I have another 5 day course courtesy of my trip to the doctors in the uk yesterday when I got home. How long till they stop forming ? I got my first blister 9 days ago now. I also have a really heavy, thin, watery and slightly yellow vaginal discharge. I  mentioned this to the doctor but she said it's normal with herpes. It smells weird. I feel unclean. I feel disgusting. I don't want to leave my bed. I've taken time off work but I have to go back soon. I don't know how I am going to sit at my desk for so long when I have open sores and so much dischage. 

Please help me. I just want someone to talk to. I feel so alone. Any advice on how to get through this would be much appreciated. 

1 like, 39 replies

39 Replies

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  • paige34392
    paige34392 r35506

    Posted

    Hi

    You are not alone I just found out today that I have genital herpes and I'm devastated.. I feel like I will never get married I never wanna have sex again I just have a feeling no one will want to be with me once they find out I have it. I don't wanna go to work or anywhere I just wanna crawl in a hole.. 😖

    • rachel53829
      rachel53829 paige34392

      Posted

      I just found out I have this too but I havent had any symptoms.  I feel so sad and feel like dating will be even harder than it has been.  It sucks because i was also told i had chlamydia,which i was treated for.  I found out I had it because the guy I was talking to started having discharge and bad symptoms.  I didnt even know I had any of this. He wont talk to me and he blocked me from all social media.  I just dont know how to feel besides upset and doubtful ill ever have a relationship again.
  • angela05857
    angela05857 r35506

    Posted

    Hi, I was recently diagnosed.. just would like to know how you've been doing?

    • paige34392
      paige34392 angela05857

      Posted

      I've been doing ok taking vitamins everyday and eating right the sores have cleared up drink plenty water keep your body clean

    • NotaDr
      NotaDr angela05857

      Posted

      Hi, I'm in the same position as of today, I feel devastated - how are you 11 days on? X

    • NotaDr
      NotaDr paige34392

      Posted

      Hi, do you have any further updates? I'm four days in after my diagnosis and I'm not sure If I'm making myself better or worse by looking online!

  • Chrystal21
    Chrystal21 r35506

    Posted

    Hi vivian!

    I am a 27 year old female that was diagnosed with genital herpes about 5 daya ago. Still waiting for the test results to confirm but the doctor is 75% sure thats what it is. I have not had sex in over a year. So i was so confused and upset. The first obgyn i saw said it just looked like a cut. I was so happy she said she saw nothing that looked like herpes. Then 3 days later another obgyn during a yearly exam. I was traumatized.. i guess i still am.

    My little sjster js trying to convince me life goes on and i will still find someone to love me. That wont care. I am a decently attractive female but now i feel i will never feel sexy.

    I have an urge to try to be perfect in every other way so that this flaw seems like someone could accept it because id be perfect other than... but thats not healthy thinking and i recognize that. Still doesnt change much though.

    I have one child that needs me very badly. I can not entertain the dark thoughts ive had after this discovery. Because i need to be here for him. I wished to have more.. but i dont see how this could happen now... who would want me after this?

    Im sorry this is so hard. I believe your mother will love you regardless girl.

  • Itslife
    Itslife r35506

    Posted

    I couldn't agree more about how I feel. It's not 100% that I may have herpes but I've been tested. Wednesday the 25th that morning I took a shower using different soap. That night I got irratated (I am allergic to everything) my boyfriend felt terrible because of the discomfort I was in. I showered the next day using my regular soap and shaved. That night I felt a tingly pain and decided to have a look. I have two sores on one side and one on the other and those spots are where I was rougher than usual on when shaving. So now I'm like is it a cut that got infected and is trying to heel and became a sore because I am VERY VERY swollen on one side which is the side I have the sores on. At this point I was mainly in discomfort when I had to pee, then it became when I was trying to sit, but once I sat down I was fine no pain but when I had to get up hello pain. The weird thing was I have my period and where I guess I cut myself my underwear kept sticking to that area so I would pull my underwear off it felt like I reopened a cut and resorted to pads since it doesn't happen. I went last night Monday to get checked by planned parenthood and they were so extremely nice and helpful she explained to me what she was testing me for which was herpes and what's cold a wound culture as well including EVERYTHING else. The nurse even said it does look like multiple cuts that are trying to heel as if I used a old razor or was too rough, which I'm hoping that's the case because I don't think my boyfriend will be too pleased if I need to explain to him that I have herpes.

    I have been so upset these passed 5 days I've barely eaten and I have some what slept thank goodness. I had an odd pain in my butt that does go away. I feel so dirty that I might've gotten herpes and trying to cope with it even though I don't know if I definitely have it but I think I do. I don't even know how to go about telling my partner that I might have this. This literally will be crumbling my world into pieces after just losing my stepdad whose been with me for 16 years a couple months ago. My life is a wreck.

  • Lovinglife48
    Lovinglife48 r35506

    Posted

    I know This was three years ago when you made this post but I was Just diagnosed with herpes today and I’m in the same boat that you were in. I’m wondering how are you coping with it and have you had any outbreaks? Mine is soooo painful, hard to walk, urinate, LOTSSS of clear discharge (yellow tint) leaking out of me  with an infection smell. If anyone else is going through this , I would Like to know how is it for you! 
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