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No better day

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preciem
preciem

Hi,

I've always loved the feeling of being alive and excited to unfold what life has to give me. mishappenings aren't new to me . but the way i react to it and my coping mechanism are unpredictable. the things i used to enjoy doesn't make sense anymore . and I've started to fantasize so many random things. the illusion of it feels so nice and there is no way i could control it. i feel some kind of psychic to predict things. and i succumb to it because there's nothing in my potential i could do to set it alright. i don't know how respond to the same things i eased with. more it makes sense that nothing in life is permanent. i know I've lost it . trying to heal everyday. but at the back of mind i know this is will happen again. more fiercely and more intense that i will not be able to sustain another blow. i struggle with finding the courage to tell people who care about me that I'm not okay. I'm also mad at them to not have realize that i haven't been myself in a long time. there is no guide to perfect life or a lifestyle and all my efforts are in vain. sleep is long gone. yet it feels like i am sleeping way out through life. one thought is intense and the other more louder. my mind feels like an empty place and also the most blaring horn at the same time.

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2 Replies

  • jan34534
    jan34534 preciem

    Edited

    it might be helpful to talk to somebody about this. It helps to vent things to someone else who can possibly help . I have noticed that when I’m alone and I think about what I’m going through all the time, it tends to get worse. I’m only looking at it from my perspective. Then I get caught in a circle of endless fear, worry, anxiety, etc.

    people who care about us are unable to really know the depth of what we are going through. It’s not their fault.

    I encourage you to tell them how you’re feeling. I’m sure they would not want you to be suffering in silence. They would want to help you in anyway. Sometimes we have to look out for ourselves when that is needed and if that means speaking up then so be it.

    you have been through a lot and it’s time to put yourself first.

    frankly, I am tired of suffering in silence. We deserve to find some joy in life.

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