No motivation

Posted , 6 users are following.

As I write its well past midday & I'm still in bed!

I'm a 54yr old man who has had a lifetime of depressive episodes, closely followed by periods of relative mania!

My children are grown up & my eldest has a child of her now - I love my Grandaughter & she adires me; seeing her is the single greatest pleasure in my life right now!

What I find frustrating is that depression can have such a hold on me that it affects my confidence and makes me feel useless in every task I undertake.

I can't differentiate between whether depression has caused me to fail in my career choices or vice versa.

I've always managed to dig myself out of the depths of depression but never seem to settle 'on the level' as my psyche seems to over compensate and my behaviour then tends to border on the manic. I've lost jobs, friendships & relationships because of my 'giddy' moods (ironically I don't seem to lose these things when I'm depressed just when I'm "high"!)

I've done a CBT course & recently took up my Doctor's offer of anti-depressants but I was disappointed with the structure of the CBT as it was a group session and I would have preferred one on one and for the short period (2 weeks) I did the medication I was having heart palpitations, disturbed sleep & awful dreams so I stopped tge meds.

As much as I need to get out of the depression I'm in fear of going manic again and as I'm now the age I am I'm also fearful that this is my lot & I'm destined to spend the rest of my days continually sad or giddy!

My family are supportive of my moods & I'm blessed that I'm in a new relationship with a woman who is also very understanding.

I actually think I'm just lazy and a miserable person.

1 like, 5 replies

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    BON

    You need to address your depression and concerns, you can ask your GP for a CPN who will give you a personal course of CBT, this can be standard proceedure the problem is the rationing of Mental Health Services and the need to see many patients with the same problem you have.

    Generally you can steer the CBT into the problems you have, this is your choice and when time s scarce you will need to explain yourself early on in seeing your CPN, in other words dictate the structure of your meetings.

    Make a list of relevent points of the causes of your Depression, this list will help you get more out of your appointments. You can use this list when you see your GP, This will help Him decide on what your needs are. Sometimes ask reception to make a double appointmnt so you have time to explain yourself to your GP

    You can try Breathing Techniques and Relaxation Technique, MINDFULNESS.

    You will find explanatons on the Internt or there are publications at Amazon.

    If your GP suggests medication give the medications time to get into your system. Upwards of five weeks, your GP may increase the dose at about four weeks. Sometimes your CPN or other Mental Health Professional may suggest a different drug to take

    Keep a hold

    BOB

     

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  • Posted

    Probably talking to a therapist would help you figure a few things out, giddy is pretty typical with depression in general, so ignore any thoughts of bipolar (it's quite fashionable to be labelled as such but it's a very different thing)

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  • Posted

    So glad bon you have understanding family & partner also. Dont think ur lazy n miserable you have a chemical imbalance . Doesnt always mean bipolar just because u have highs. Maybe a different med wud work. Or holistic meds my friend does that occ for me def does something xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Bon - sorry to read of your situation. Medication can definity help - unfortunately it can be a case of trail and error. Meds will take 3-6 we3eks before your system has adujusted and they are fully working. I'm wondering if you spoke to youe doc before you ditched the meds? It might be that the dosage needed tweaking. Do go back and see the doc - or another one if you don't feel the first was dismissive or lacked understanding of you. When you see the doc, ask for a referral to a psychologist. With a life-long disorder it would be helpful to have a private, safe, non-judgemental environment where you can vent your spleen and come to understand your illness, the causes, and whether there are any life events that can account for its presence. Thinking you are a "lazy and a miserable person" is the depression talking. You clearly are not that as you have a partner who is understanding, and you should make the most of that support to help you through. Best of luck to you, and we are always here to talk to.

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