No-one really cares

Hallo Mari, Sorry you are suffering. This type of depression generally feeds more depression and things are not how they seem. If you had a positive outlook you will see the responses of other people to you are more positive. It is the Cause and Effect process. The bond a Mother has with Her Daughter and Son are too strong to be easily broken. You must make an effort to repair your relationships. Start  with your Love for them and build on that as your focal point. Remember it works both ways though you might need to put in a little more effort because Sons and Daughters generally look up to their Parents for support and guidance. Your problems are more complex than you have said. All depression starts somewhere and you should retrace the path to see what the cause is. Most Mental Illness is caused by Nutrient Deficiency, the second largest causes are Social Disorders. What seems to be the cause of your problem. Robert.

So sorry for all this.... please be kind and caring to yourself, take care of yourself it's very painful what is going on... try to reach out for at least a little support where you can find it--- there's different places to get support-- volunteer part time you get to meet others, call an old friend for coffee, talk to a pastor or priest if you follow a faith tradition, join a social group, even just in daily life if you can strike up a casual conversation with someone in a coffee shop or whatever any amount helps.... I go to a drug store a lot and the manager knows me and says hello... he and I chatted a bit and he said he would pray for me, that made actually a big difference in how I felt... it made me feel someone cared and had my back during this super difficult painful time

And now you have come to me and I am strong and will investigate your problems as a Friend. I have great empathy and it makes me emotional to see people suffer, so I channel my energy and focus on learning the sciences and teach people and I will try to keep you positive. If I was there, I would give you a big cuddle to keep you going. I uderstand how deep the problem is when you say' you can not answer the door. The pressure has built up and you really need a rest. Try to FOCUS on a PEACEFUL MEMORY and SWITCH OFF all the confusion. Keep focusing and train your brain, do not give in to the negative thoughts. The way I think is by putting all the problems in to GROUPS and looking at them from a SCIENTIFIC POINT OF VIEW. This way of thinking makes the Problems less personal. The one's I can not solve go to a group for solving later and I then investigate what the sollution is to resolve the confusion rather than worry. This can be hard if your brain is not working properly. You must be strong and program yourself by saying to yourself 'I AM NOT GOING TO LET THIS BEAT ME'. I do care for you and have enough room for all people in life. People said to my 'you can not take the whole world on your shoulders'. I will carry as much as I need to, and now I am much stronger because I can handle deep thoughts after many years of learning. I have experience and can relate to all these things you explained, though I coped with those types of people because I understood them. Some people are not strong enough so they say insensitive comments. It might be that they care and are not strong enough to show it or they do not have the answers and can not handle any more and lose patience. This aggravates your own problems. Some times you must remember to take time off and do something to distract yourself.

A big cuddaw and Lots of Love to keep you going.

Robert.