No support from my husband

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Diagnosed for one year, condition has worsened, I started asking my husband to do more things for me.  He just complains all the time about how this is affecting HIM and HIS social life.  I can't get over my anger and find I am nearly unable to speak to him.

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  • Posted

    Did you do too much for him, and/or was he always like this?

    It happens, unfortunately, this condition can bring the best or the worst out in our surroundings. Sometimes it evens out, when people have gotten used to changes.

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    • Posted

      he always felt he "did everything" and I 'did nothing" because the things I did weren't physical.  I am quite determined to do all of these physical things, I.e., putting on snow tires, by myself from now on , but I can't get over the anger I have about him only caring about how my illness affects HIM.
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  • Posted

    Hi and so sad isnt when we get these ailments and the other half isnt very supportive, Just plain selfish im sorry.  No wonder your angry, was everything ok before your diagnoses with him towards you if you dont me asking

    Sue x

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    • Posted

      no, it wasn't.  He always felt he "did everything".  What it amounted to was that the things that I did, that weren't physical tasks , didn't count for him.  What counted were things he did, like cutting the lawn.  Things I did, like keeping things running smoothly with his relatives, didn't count because they weren't physical.  I am determined to henceforth do many of the things he did, like putting on snow tires, by myself.  But I can't get over the anger and can barely get myself to speak to him.
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  • Posted

    Hello there. So sorry about your situation. My wife was very supportive at first, but the "novelty" has worn off.and she has a short temper these days. She is disabled herself but spends many hours with the grand children and my mother -in -law.

    M-I-L was taken ill just over a year ago and my wife would not hear of her going into a home, I agee, but there are no ground rules, so she gets away with just about everything she likes. It has split the family. I cannot watch the TV in our lounge as it`s  old re-runs of Bonanza and black and white 1940`s cowboy films.

    I feel that so many spouses have not much idea of how bad ME can be. My

    wife spends so much time with our daughter and children that she is so exhausted, she has little energy for my needs, food, help with medication etc.you

    Well, I can sympathise with you. Get you husband to read about caring for someone with ME. You can get a booklet from the Hummingbird site.

    Mind you I did that 2 years ago and my wife has not got past the first page yet

    too much trouble. We might all bang our heads against a brick wall for all the good it would do. !!!!

    Best wishes.....Mitty.

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