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Ive been depressed for about a year now im so sad and just want to end it all. Ive been with my partner for 15 years and stepson and daughter and grandson who i love so mch.ive got a good job and should be so happy but im not . I wake everyday shaking notwanting to go to work im on anti deptessants which my partner doesnt know about i dont want to eat im crying all the time then i dont want to mix with people i have to put on a brave face but my partner knows something is up. My dad tried to kill himself a few times and growing up i had to deal with this. I lossed my uncle auntie and cousin on the ferry disaster in march 87 then 15 years ago i split with my ex i awoke to find her 10 year daughter touching me sexually and using my hand on her i freaked but instead of telling her mam i never said anything i was scared it happened and that she would accuse me of touching her.that was 15 years ago. All these feelings have resurfaced and i blame and hate myself so much i just want out im a good person with a good heart .
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