Nobody to support me and at rock bottom

Posted , 10 users are following.

Hello fellow sufferers. I started going through peri-menopause about 6 years ago and went through menopause 2 years ago when I had my last period. I thought after my periods had finished things would get better but although the hot flushes have thankfully much improved I'm still stuck with this awful fatigue, mood swings, brain fog and poor quality sleep. I also have ME/CFS which I've had for over 20 years but this fatigue is different from my normal one. Everything I do is an effort and I have no motivation to do anything or go anywhere now and have no patience with anyone anymore. I feel like I have the moods of a teenager without the energy!

I've been told HRT wouldn't be suitable for me due to my medical history. My GP is totally unsupportive and just said there is nothing he can do about it and told me to look up the internet. I have also now been told I have high cholesterol which is just another thing to get me stressed. My husband isn't very supportive either and friends I have seem to have managed to get through it without any problems or HRT. I stopped smoking, cut out alcohol totally, reduced my caffeine and have tried changing my diet including more lentils, oats and pulses. I don't know what else I can try. I feel like I've run out of options and don't know where to go from here. Does anyone have any suggestions for non HRT things that might help? Does it ever get better?

Sorry for the long rambling post but don't know where to get help. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Any suggestions would be really welcome.

Elaine

1 like, 13 replies

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    hi elaine i'm exatly going through similar 6yr post meno no hrt one thing i found which helps dramatically cbd oil would reccommend it has worked wonders i have fibromyalgia hot sweats mood swings headaches acheing joint all have dramatically redused and not on half of my tablets i would def give it a try

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    • Posted

      Hi Wendy

      I saw a programme recently which mentioned cbd oil and I wondered if it might help so will look into this further. I also get aching joints so it's interesting to hear you've found it helpful. Thanks for your reply.

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  • Posted

    Hi Elaine,

    I'm sorry you too are going through such a horrible time. I have been going through severe symptoms of peri for yrs and it does scare me to hear so often that even in Meno a lot of these terrible symptoms continue. I, like so many, really hoped it all stopped once in Meno.

    Like you, Dr's didn't listen and were pretty useless. I still can't believe in this day and age with so many women suffering through Peri and Meno as we do, that there is so little help and understanding from the medical profession. I am on HRT which did help me for several of the symptoms and carbamazepine for the burning skin which really helped unless i miss a dose. But none of the medication make it all go away. I am in constant pain in my joints and all the old injuries (of which there were many) so that at just turned 50 i get up from sitting bent and shuffling in pain like an 80yr old. its depressing coming from a once very active person.

    I hope you find some relief soon, until then know that you are not alone.

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    • Posted

      Hi Shylee

      It's nice to know it's not just me that feeling like this. Anyone I know I've tried to discuss it with seems to have just sailed through the menopause with no many problems and some people just don't want to talk about it which makes you feel really alone. I also feel like since I've turned 50 I've suddenly aged about 20 years and now feel like a pensioner. But you do see older women with fairly active lives so I'm praying that this is just a temporary phase and will at some point get a bit better but am running out of new things to try. I'm really glad the HRT gave you some relief and hope you also get some improvement too.

      Elaine

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  • Posted

    Hi ,My friend took sage tablets for hotflushes which did'n t irradicate them but greatly reduced them.There is black Kosh but I'd research that as it has side effects.I take Citalopram an antidepressant which helps with anxiety,moods and hot flushes.I also take Floridex suppliments which help with low iron and energy levels.To be honest I will try anything.I hatethe lethergy and that everything aches.I have also become very accident prone so have had to slow down which makes me feel old!!Lets hope its over soon - feel as though I've had my body swapped with a very old boring alien!

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    • Posted

      Hi Phoebe

      Thanks for the reply. I tried sage and a couple of other herbal things before but unfortunately they didn't agree with me but will give anything a go. My GP had mentioned trying antidepressants before but I've been unsure about trying them as I'd heard a couple of the side effects were tiredness and dry mouth which I have anyway and didn't want to make worse but maybe I should reconsider trying them as my moods are now really low most of the time. I've just joined a Stress control group to see if it helps but, if not, might give in and try the happy pills!

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  • Posted

    Hi Elaine

    I'm sorry to hear that you're going through hell...

    My guess is most of us in here have a variety of symptoms that we try to understand and get through but my guess is also that we don't know how to...

    I have had a number of terrible symptoms in peri but the worst is anxiety. Because my anxiety makes every other symptom much worse. I overthink everything, convince myself I'm suffering from ALS, cancer or another deadly disease. It's absolutely horrible.

    When my anxiety takes over I'm a wreck and almost get depressed. It affects my day, my children, my mood, my ability to function.

    Therefor I contacted a psychotherapist and started talking therapy to cope with my thoughts and get some mental remedies to overcome it all.

    It has been really helpful! I had 5 sessions and several months free of worrying thoughts. It has returned a little bit but I now know that it is all in my mind.

    If it continues much longer though I will contact my therapist again for at brush up 😃

    I wish you all the best!

    • Troldepus
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    • Posted

      Hi Troldepus71

      My anxiety levels have also gone through the roof and I've started having panic attacks again which I used to get years ago when I couldn't cope with illness and working. I thought I'd got over all these feelings so can't believe they've just come back out the blue when my life is nothing like as stressful as it was then. I just started a Stress control course to see if it helps but was considering try counselling again which I found helpful in the past. I'm so worn out and confused just now I don't know where to start. I just want to hibernate and wake up and feel like my old self again! I'm really glad you found something that helps.

      Elaine

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  • Posted

    So sorry you're going through this. I take Wellbutrin, which is a common and effective antidepressant. I like it much more than some of the others I've been on before. It does not make me feel muddle-headed or lethargic, which I had with Prozac and others. Wellbutrin also has a slight appetite suppressant quality, which helps with weight gain.

    I think that, if you don't have a doctor who supports you in getting HRT, you should find a new doctor.

    I have a few OTC meds I take which help: Estroven (for hot flashes), magnesium (for leg cramps), and Maca (for libido). All of these are effective for me. In the past I've also taken fish oil supplements to help with joint pain. I think it was mildly helpful.

    I hope you get some relief. At least you can know that you are not alone!

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    • Posted

      Thanks very much for the reply. I'm definitely going to look into trying something as doing nothing is not working for me. I might try seeing another doctor but not sure how I'll get on as all the good ones have recently retired. It took 4 appointments earlier this year with different (recently qualified) doctors until one finally realised that the excruciating back pain I had was actually a slipped disc after twice being palmed off with antibiotics I didn't need!!!! It's good to hear positive feedback about things that help. Hope you continue to get some relief!

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  • Posted

    I also started peri about 6 years ago and have been post menopause 2 years. I have no support other than this site. My husband is so sick of hearing me complain, worry, cry, vent, etc, that he tunes me out. I also was diagnosed with high cholesterol a few years ago and have been on a statin. I also take bp meds. I am not a candidate for HRT but to be honest I wouldn't even take it because I have a sensitivity to meds. My hot flushes too have improved but it feels like someone beat the tar out of me in the middle of the night, if I can fall asleep to begin with. I am 51 but I wake up feeling like I am 85. I don't smoke (I quit 18 years ago) and I gave up caffeine 99% of the time. I am having issue with my blood sugar now too. I gave up sugar, starches, and watch my carb intake. I am trying keto. I have increased my physical activity and still my BS just skims above 100 in the morning. So I obsess. I have wide spread pains in my leg, stomach, clavicle area, armpit, lower back, etc and then they will subside. Though my right leg calf and my lower (ovary area) is pretty chronic. I don't have blood clots, baker's cyst or ovarian cancer but I have cysts on my ovaries that my GYN says shouldn't bother me. I have had ultrasounds and ct scans. I had last night a bad pain in what would be my kidney area. that was severe. It is not bothering me now. I don't know.

    I had breast pain but I take evening primrose for that. I also take chelated magnesium, a one-a-a day vitamin. The cleaner I eat the worse I am feeling. I am overweight and I have lost weight but it has been a struggle. Now I am trying fasting. None of my friends (they are all long distance) have any symptoms so they say. I don't know anyone were I live now (4.5 years).

    I know none of this helps you, but I just wanted you too know that I understand and if you ever want to vent or talk I am here for you. xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Keljo48

      I'm so sorry to hear you're suffering so badly too. I looked at this site in the past but stupidly thought it would all go away if I ignored it and tried to soldier on so stopped looking at the site. Coming back on the site today and getting all these supportive comments from people has made me realise how good this site is as it's great to feel I'm not alone. My husband is the same with me with my moods and now disappears to the shed to get away from me. I've tried to explain how I feel but he doesn't want to hear it. I've realised that not being able to talk about it properly is making me worse. Am going to start facing up to things and have another go at trying different things to see if I can get any relief. Really hope things improve for you soon too.

      Elaine

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  • Posted

    dearest Elaine, oh girl, I’m pretty sure you’re in my head because you’re saying everything I am thinking. I feel the same way, I even feel I have lost friendships over this. there is a line in menopause where I feel like we just kind of give up, a couple years ago I was walking, I was eating right and then post menopause head and I just don’t give a sh** And I cannot control my mouth either, if somethings wrong if someone’s a jerk even if someone is doing something rude to somebody in line at a grocery store I cannot keep my mouth closed. The other day in the checkout lane this male clerk tried to shame a girl... I guess she was using some form of government payment and he was trying to school her on the fact that she should’ve put some kind of coupons on top of each item because that’s how it’s done. He’s lucky I didn’t really rip into him, she was a young girl and you could tell she was struggling and she had a baby with her and another on the way. I politely said... that’s interesting I’ve never heard a checkout clerk ever say that before nor have I ever in line at a grocery store seen that done before.!' She wasn’t one of those crazy couponers with 50 coupons, so I really don’t know what he was talking about. But he didn’t dare even look up at me ( insert smirk here 😉) i’m very confused your... own doctor told you to Google this? I thought doctors are famous for telling us to stay off of Google. i’m very sorry, that is so unprofessional ! Not trying to be bossy pants but have you tried to look into another physician, specifically that is trained in this field? I am going to private message you as well to give you some wonderful very helpful advice, there is hope, please don’t be disheartened. I along with a few other friends are in the same boat with you where these other women are having “no issues with meno“ and again I really don’t feel these people exist, I think they’re already on anti depressants or they’re on some type of med that is greatly helping them. I stand firm on that 😉 again there is hope and you are not alone !! xo

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