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I hate alcohol yet I am addicted to it. I have actually been hospitalised because of it. I went on a mad binge for about a month then just stopped. I got the DTs it was the most horrible and frightening experience of my whole life. For 3 days I was totally tripping. I could see and hear things that were not there. I was in hospital for 6 days. Yet here I am drinking again. I am sneaky and hide bottles all over house. Alcohol comes everywhere with me when I start a binge. I really really want to stop as I feel so much stronger without it. I can go for weeks without it but then the grip starts and I am on it again. Any advice most welcome.

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  • Posted

    hi clair  i am a alcoholic in recovery i have not had a drink for 18months i had the same symtoms as yourself. I to was hiding bottles around my home, but i live by my self (wich seems pointless) i also had trips wich i was convinced were real, while i was in hospital, i was sat up in bed when my mother came to visit me(2 things there i could not sit up and my mother died in 1990) i was also convinced my partner was in my bed at night (she lives 17 miles from me and the hospital would not allow that anyway)drink took over my life i dont know what part of the world you are but in the uk, you can get so much help, you have made a BIG step by putting it down on paper, my only advice to you is go out and find the help you need,  shout from the rooftops I NEED SOMEBODY i was given 8 hours of life, i made it through, have you ever thought of counciling i went a few times but you have to want it,i wish you all the luck a person could ever wish i am here if you need to talk. YOU CAN DO IT

      

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  • Posted

    Claire.I go on a binge for maybe a week.....then I have to quit,the shakes get me.I don't eat,and have lost my driving licence.

    I can also go for weeks without a drink ...but as soon as I start I go down hill.

    I scam Diazepam to get over the shakes,without this I would get the DTs.

    I hate myself like this.

    I live on my own,"Divorced" so I can drink when I want..........,it's dam hard qitting.Good luck x.

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  • Posted

    Hi Clair,

    I know that my binges are more to do with self-destructive feelings within myself. I hate the situation I’m in and therefor I do my best to destroy it, the problem with this is that I’m part of my problem therefor I go about destroying myself in the process.

    I have never been on a months binge, and on some level that actually appeals to me, however I do know how I feel after a five day binge, and the “suicidies” I had after that! I’m surprised you recovered at all. But the fact you did recover in order that you wrote this post means that you are a survivor, and you do wish to carry on.

    I usually don’t like to provide an opinion of other people because who am I to judge! However I do feel yours is a problem of self-worth, how much do you value yourself, and if you don’t value the things you do on a day to day bases, are there things of value that you could do that replace the things that you dont value in your day to day life.

    They don’t say a day at a time as a gimmick, sometime, including myself, a day at a time or even one hour at a time rings true.

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  • Posted

    Claire, Hope you are doing ok.  I like you have done the whole hiding bottles, DT's, binges.  I have lied to those I love most and to myself.  I have been through several local agencies, have been hospitalised and arrested. I have been found out passed out onn  the floor at home and once in the street by a colleague.  My whole life is a mess at the moment but I want to get some control back and get sorted.  You are not alone. good luck have you seen this video............_____

    if the link doesnt work type black dog depression in to you tube its brilliant.

    Patient Moderator Note: I have removed an URL (a link) from this reply as it was unsuitable for inclusion (superfluous) within these forums. If any user is interested in this removed information they should contact the author via the Private Messaging system requesting such. Thank you for your cooperation.

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  • Posted

    Claire, NEVER try to stop drinking without medical help. Alcohol withdrawal symptoms can kill. You don't need me to tell you the consequences of carrying on drinking like you are, that can also kill you. Don't feel ashamed that you have started again, many people have a number of detoxes before they succeed in getting off alcohol.

    What you describe is typical of people who are physically dependent on alcohol. I wonder if the fact that you had your detox in a hospital means that you only had the physical treatment and had no opportunity to look at why you do what you do.

    I see your post is from 2 months ago. You may have sorted your problem now, but feel free to send me a private message if you need a chat. I have helped people overcome alcohol problems for a number of years and people DO resolve it with the right support.

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