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not doing well

Posted , 8 users are following.

h1954
h1954

Hi everyone

I know I've posted advice and encouragement to people on this site. But I'm not doing well myself.

Early 2014 I was shocked into doing something about my drinking and did well in terms of reducing significantly. Had an alcohol counsellor who helped quite a bit. He left. His replacement was lovely but I slipped back, though to nowhere near my previous levels. Having days each week when I didn't drink. Then the service was taken over and there was no longer any help near me. Thought I could manage on my own. I'd learnt loads to help me.

Am taking vit b strong and thiamine. Tried selincro but couldn't cope with the side effects.

Am still not drinking as much as I was. And am able not to drink when it matters. But I know I'm slipping back to where I was. Not having non drinking days now.

I don't quite know what I want. I like drinking ( only ever wine) but I don't like getting drunk. And I rarely get drunk now. But I know I'm slipping back to old ways.

I know you are all lovely helpful supportive people on this site.

Any thoughts to help?

1 like, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 h1954

    Posted

    You have been brilliant at supporting people on this site h1954, I have seen you posting for a long time now, thank you for that.

    I am presuming you are female because you drink wine...am I right?  You don't have to say if you don't want to, I should have taken more notice in the past, sorry.

    I have been on this site a long time, mostly reading, but trying to help too.  But I also drink every day, so I am not a good example to others.  I did cut down some after joining, but my drinking is habitual, I cannot make an evening without a drink and the thought of having to do that fills me with dread.  I never drink during the day, I have absolutely no desire to do so, only ever after 8pm.

    This is of absolutely no help to you at all, I am sorry. I just identified with you so much that I had to reply.

    I hope you get the replies to help you, I will be watching and I wish you all the very best....you are a really lovely person.

    Pat xxx

    • h1954
      h1954 patricia44773

      Posted

      thanksPatricia.

      The thing is, I can make a day/evening without a drink if I have something to do that means I can't drink, but otherwise I don't.  I just don't have the desire/motivation to.

      When I started this journey of  dealing with the booze over 2 years ago I was really motivated to get to grips with it.  Not so motivated now 'cos I kid myself that I've done it,  But I haven't really.  I just control it so I don't drink much in public.

      Feel so bad

    • patricia44773
      patricia44773 h1954

      Posted

      Don't feel so bad, at least you are trying.  You will get your motivation back, you are just going through a bad patch.  You just have to listen to the advice that you give others and believe in yourself.

      We are only here once.  Some of us have to do what we have to do to survive...even if that shortens the time we are here.  I know I should not say that, but we all have different ways of coping.  As long as what we do does not hurt anyone else or impact on family, it is our choice.

      Please don't feel bad.

       

  • sue2016
    sue2016 h1954

    Posted

    Hi.  Read your post and can identify.  I too tried Selincro and had horrendus side effects (£60 wasted on a private prescription sad )

    Been drinking too much for over five years now and it has affected my relationships.

    I had a counsellor, who had to withdraw from counseleling due to problems of her own and dearly miss our appointments.  Because of relationship problems, I have no one to discuss things with, beause apparently I "go round and round in f***ing circles sad

    Wine is my temptation, and I have cut down, firstly by having a couple of no alcohol days each week (but found I was drinking more on the drink days so no effect on units)

    But now have swapped to pre-mixed cans of gin and tonic...... three wine glasses of this (ie three cans) is only 3 units, as opposed to a whole bottle of wine (or more)

    I also only want to drink during the evenings. 

    I hope I can continue, and I hope you can find your way forward too.  It's not easy and there's no cure-all that's for sure

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 h1954

    Posted

    Oh no...it is good that you have cut down...but I know that your fear is well founded.

    I'm sorry you lost your support system.  Yes, this forum is good support but it is not the same as sitting in a room with someone...crying and having them give you good advice.

    As far as your drinking...I know you said Selincro didn't work for you...but what about the naltraxone?  I know I have read that Selincro didn't work for others and that Naltraxone (Sinclair Method) did.

    There really are only 2 choices

    1. minimize drinking

    2. stop drinking.

    I hear that the Sinclair method helps people minimize with the eventual desire to stop drinking....

    • Misssy2
      Misssy2

      Posted

      And I forgot....Just  because it is "wine" does not mean you are not suffering or not having a problem.

      People used to say to me OH - YOU ONLY DRINK BEER?

      WELL..you know from reading my posts...ALCOHOL...beer, wine, whatever has almost killed me many times...and  YES...I ONLY DRINK BEER.

    • vickylou
      vickylou Misssy2

      Posted

      Missy I think you mean and YES...I ONLY DRANK BEER LOL!!
  • pistal666
    pistal666 h1954

    Posted

    Hello H,

    What you are facing is indeed a personal dilema. Forget about anyone else in this World for a moment and their ideology of normality. Ask yourself what kind of person you want to be and then list all of the things that are preventing/hindering you from being this person. Even after speaking to a counsellor and even after a detox you have to have some kind of plan in your minds eye otherwise it's easy to go back to the things you know. Drink as an odd way of taking up most of your time once commited to. Is there someting you would rather be doing? When we are lucky enough to get help, we are only given the tools to help deal with situations that may blight us, but not a guide on how to live and be happy. I found that when I was drinking the only thing that made me content was more drink and nothing else could toutch it unless I had, had that drink. In short, booze took up my time so much so that I didn't even know what I wanted or found enjoyment in anymore. This does not magically come to you after a Detox or sobriety, It takes a while of trial and error to build yourself up again, and part of this is also to do with physical changes in the Brain that need to re adjust ( to do with Gaba,some thing for another time). You are an amazing person who cares about others a great deal, and I hope you at least take a certain ammount of pleasure from knowing that you have helped alot of people. You need to take a little time to think about your self and what you want our of this life and what makes you happy. Drink is not an ideal partner for deciding this, but you know that already......... 

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