not feeling better

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I woke up this morning and instantly knew the anxiety and tearfulness and suicidal thoughts were back.Im trying very hard not to be scared of them,and believe that the 3 good days I just had were the most I have had for 5 months,but this hurts and is awful and feels so unfair!

Jox

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  • Posted

    Didnt give myself long enough to see how I was,felt fine today,better than in ages so good news for CPN for a change! :lol:
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  • Posted

    Hi Charlies girl

    lots of improvement since lithium,a bit of a rollercoaster though,I had 4 good days then the last few days have been really up and down.Im sure Im loads better although have had v stressful time at home with children so hard to differentiate between normal stresses of life (which I cope with poorly) and feeling low.Pretty sure Im getting there though,hard to go out sometimes but I tell myself it will be fine and it always is,its just scary to think I might go backwards because its been so terrible.Hope you are OK

    Jox

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  • Posted

    Stress levels at critical at home due to teenage daughters so really hard to know if painful anxiety levels due to that or just me.Feel genuine fear a lot of the time,finding being a parent and wife virtually impossible with bipolar,I cant react normally,I want to run again.suicidal thoughts back,its a mess

    JOx

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  • Posted

    Jo, i am the same, I've upped my sertraline back to 50mg and i feel that I've had some improvement over the last few days. However it seems that any stress i encounter leaves me feeling muddled and restless... Glad we have both seen some improvement though it can't get any worse than what we've been through already.. surely?.. x :wink: xx
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  • Posted

    Last night was overwhelmed by crippling fear,I cant think of any other way of describing it,The worst anxiety I have ever had I was just so desparate to run.Felt awful this morning too but diazepam has helped loads and Ive been feeling OK since this afternoon.What is that fear,its indescribable,do you know what I mean ?

    It helps to keep in touch,thanks

    JOX

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  • Posted

    im on mirtazapine and have been for 2mts now,its now not working for me and i dread going to bed az theres no point.saw crisis team today,who now tell me ive got to wait for appointment with psychiatrist.i feel im gettin nowhere and nobody cares,i just want to give up.my doctor just fobs me off sayin the crisis team will tell u wot to do.i wanted to be locked up 2day cuz i dont no how much longer i can do this.i just feel like im a burden and waistin away.my kids keep me here but even thats fadin.i just want to feel normal again and if that means tablets for rest of my life then good,i cant go another week without no help,sleep and feelin like this :cry:
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  • Posted

    Sam

    I know how you feel,I can sleep though its just the days I cant manage,I seem to be going backwards.I cant go out now,getting out of bed is impossible,I cant actually DO anything except sit and feel scared and suicidal.You need to tell your crisis team how bad you feel,use the emergency number if you have to,dont let it overwhelm you.I dont know why I feel so awful after a few good days,my family are the only ones keeping me here too,I wouldnt be here like this if they werent here.Please take care

    Jox

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  • Posted

    Sam and Jo

    I feel exactly the same, fed up with it all, when will all the feelings stop. I was ok for 7 weeks, the doctor upped my dose to 3o mg, dont know if it was coincidence or what but all the horrible feelings came back. Decided to take half 30 mg tablet but no change, unlike yourselves at least I can sleep, and bedtime cannot come quick enough, just so I can get some piece from it, only problem is, morning comes around so soon.

    Seeing doctor on thursday, not my usual one its a lady locum, so see if she can offer me any help.

    Take Care, and maybe tomorrow will be a better one for us all, heres hoping.

    Danielle x

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  • Posted

    havin a real bad day,crisis team came out and asked loads of questions,y do i feel like this was 1.well if i knew that i wouldnt be under a crisis team would i.i asked for diazepam cuz im really aggitated and restless but he didnt want to give it me,wot have i got to do to get some help,even voluntered to go into hospital to be told theres no beds.i cant live my life like this ive had to send my kids to their dads which makes me feel even more guilty and selfish.just knowing im going to have medication changed or see a psychiatrist would make me feel like someones helpin but its u guys who are helpin,u talk about your cpn and your medication and im strugglin to understand y im still not gettin the help i need,i dread 2morrow because if its az bad az 2day i dont know how im guna cope.i worry about using the crisis team emer number cuz i feel like im waisting their time and mine.im just at my lowest and feel like a failure.y do they take so long.hope u ad a better day. :cry:
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  • Posted

    Sam,

    You have my upmost sympathy, I to have had the restless,aggitated anxiety this week, after been on this med since xmas, felt ok for about 7 weeks on it then bam, back to square one this last week.

    I am going to doctors tomorrow to ask to be put back on seroxat, I was on it a few years back and felt great, I had no side effects except head sweats and no problems coming off it, but it was a long process, I lasted 10 mnth without medication but due to a sudden bereavment in october, I felt I was slipping back, since then I have asked to go back on seroxat, but I think to some bad publicity about it the doctor was reluctant to prescribe it.

    I have tried 4 different anti depressants since then, always been told \"try this newer one\" all have given be bad side effects, Mirtazapine I can tollerate but does nothing for the anxiety.

    I now am feeling just like you what have we got to do just to make the doctors listen and get the help we need.

    I would love for all these doctors to experience for just one day (well maybe a weekend) what people like you, me and so many other people live with everyday.

    If you think you cannot cope with it any more give the crisis team a ring,sometimes just talking can help.

    Let me know how your feeling

    Take Care

    Danielle x

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  • Posted

    Another day of paralysing terror about something I dont know but feels very real.Can no longer easily go out,am crying on and off,am unable to do anything rpound the house and I too am a useless wife and mother because I cant relate to anyone on a normal level.My CPN said its just the rollercoaster low in getting beter because I did feel better for a few days.This is the worst have ever felt,went for lithium level bloods today and seeing psychiatrist on 25th,but how can they be working if the lows are so bad?Im taking regular diazepam and its barely registering,olanzapine is a mood stabiliser too and Im still on maximum mirtazapine,I know feeling so bad still isnt right,Im so frightened,Id end it all in a heartbeat if I knew it would deffinitely work because I cant live like this.

    Jo :cry:

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  • Posted

    Dear Jo I think in my experience it will take a long while to get better. Yes you will have days when you feel almost normal and then days when you feel at rock bottom. The lithium will work. Please try to trust your psychiatrist on that one! Of all the meds that I have been on that has been the most helpful. However it is a mood stabiliser not an anti anxiety drug and it will take a while ie months for you and the psych to see whether it is having a benefitial effect on you. When my meds were increased in September I was expecting a miracle fix but it has taken about six months to feel completely better. When this has happened before it has taken up to a year. So please give it time even if you feel you are going through the motions you are getting better.
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  • Posted

    Pooh Bear

    thanks for advice,it really helped,appreciate it

    take care

    Jox

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  • Posted

    Drop me a PM [b:8d685f1912]Jo[/b:8d685f1912], tell me how you are getting on smile
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