Not getting any better
Posted , 5 users are following.
I've been taking Sertaline 100mg for nearly a year no and I believe I have never felt worse. I sleep all day, I do no housework and haven't been to work in almost a year. I tried to go out at the weekend with my sister for a trip to the beach but half way there I had a serious panic attack and had to go home back to bed again. It's awful I feel so fragile right now like I really don't think im going to be able to carry on like this for years to come. Just wondering if anyone else found themselves as low as this on Sertaline?
0 likes, 7 replies
weenett ciara_44423
Posted
GodsServant ciara_44423
Posted
ciara_44423 GodsServant
Posted
Hi thanks for your reply.
I'm due in to see my GP on Tues I will let them know then.
I find it very hard to leave my house during the day so I don't visit as often as I should.
I'm just tired of being tired and feeling sorry for myself.
I'm going to hopefully try harder.
Thank you
GodsServant ciara_44423
Posted
At one point I was in such bad shape I wanted God to take me away in my sleep cuz being a Christian I couldn’t do anything to harm myself and I couldn’t do that to my husband and loved ones. So, remember your kids and remember the good times. You can get back there again.
Just one thing at a time – like now, you just have to see the GP on Tues and change med or dose. That’s all. You can do this. You can feel sorry for yourself but please try not to wallow in it but fight for your well being.
Just try a bit each day.
Xx
Shed1976 ciara_44423
Posted
Hi Ciara,
Sorry to hear you are suffering. I've been where you are and I really feel for you.
Has Sertraline helped at all? If not, it's likely not the right medication for you.
Do you have an empathetic doctor? If yours isn't, there must be one at your surgery that is.
Your trip to the beach was bound to be daunting because you're not used to going out anymore.
Try (with someone you love and trust) to start off with baby steps. Perhaps a little walk around the block. That'll help build your confidence.
I completely understand the sleeping all day as well. You probably wake up lots and hope, by going back to sleep, you'll feel better the next time you wake? That never works.
As difficult as it is, you have to 'break' that routine you are in. I know it must feel like you are trapped in hell at the moment.
The right medication will help but you have to fight too. I know the simplest of tasks will feel overwhelming but set yourself a couple of small goals each day (even something like tidying your room or inviting a friend round for a coffee) and when you achieve them you will slowly but surely begin to improve.
I can only speak from my own experience (15 years of dealing with depression and anxiety.) Everyone is different but hopefully my advice will help you.
C
ciara_44423 Shed1976
Posted
Thanks for your reply it means alot.
Unfortunately like yourself I've been doing this for 15 years also. I really do try everything you have mentioned but to be honest I don't have the motivation to be happy, I think I've got so used to being this way.
I don't visit my doctor's as often as maybe I should but when I do it's a different locum doc and I do feel like they have heard my story before and I walk away feeling worse.
I don't have any friends, that is my own doing throughout the years. I've ruined friendships and relationships due to this anxiety and depression.
I feel like this is just what my life is going to be like forever. I've tried so many different antidepressants but I'm so tired now of feeling fragile and alone.
I feel terribly guilty as I have two children and it's not fair on them having me as their mummy. I always feel guilty as I have been depressed from as far back as I can remember and I feel it was really selfish of me to have had them. They should be my motivation which they have been but now they are older and I don't need to do as much for them.
I'm just a big mess right now and losing the battle. I would never take my own life because I wouldn't put my kids through that but I just hate being this sad and lonely and most of all anxious.
I'm back to see my GP next Tue maybe they can help me.
Thanks again I know I sound so depressing.
Ciara
Shed1976 ciara_44423
Posted
Hi again,
I'm seeing a lot of self-blame in your words. A lot of that comes from being depressed for so long. Thoughts like 'I should be happy' and 'I should be able to fix this' are all too common. I see a common pattern amongst depression and anxiety sufferers. We are very hard on ourselves and often perfectionists.
Do you know the root cause of your depression? Everyone's story is different and what works for one person treatment-wise might not suit the next person but I firmly believe working out the root cause is a good place to start. Sounds cliche but it's usually down to our childhood.
Do you have a partner or a close family member or friend who understands what you're going through?
I'm sure your children love and appreciate you and would like nothing more than to see you get better.
The problem is, at the moment you are seeing everything through a lens of depression and anxiety. That's one hell of a blurred lens!
Have you had periods of wellness throughout those 15 years?
It sounds to me as though you are desperately unwell at the moment. Please believe you can get better. It's just finding what works best for you.
If you'd like people to better understand what you are going through, go on to a search engine and put in world health organisation plus black dog and depression.
It's a little cartoon around 4 mins long that illustrates our struggle. I like it because there is a message of hope at the end. Please try to hold on to that.
You are in my thoughts,
C x