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not getting support from my partner

Posted , 2 users are following.

amanda16835
amanda16835

im in a new relationship (6 weeks) and just been tested for G.H 2 days ago due to noticing some lumps down below. the results arent back til next week but i honestly think i have it. i dont know where i picked it up from, it could have been from my current partner or an ex, that doesnt really matter now, what does matter is that even though my current partner loves me and weve had an amazing 6 weeks so far, since informing him that i could have the virus hes gone quiet, withdrawn,

hes freaking out wondering if hes got it, wondering if he gave it to me. im trying to reassure him

but im the one with the possibility of having it! hes not being very supportive considering he says he loves me. i am worried he wont want to be with me anymore even though he loves me and

knows me inside out.how is someone else going to want me if he doesnt!? has anyone elses

partner reacted the same? how can i tell him that yes its an sti but the stigma surrounding it

makes it much worse than it is, its the coldsore virus. id be grateful for anyones comments,

advise.

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • pixie1989
    pixie1989

    Posted

    Hi hun i was diagnosed in november and although my partner that iv been with for nearly 5 years was somewhat supportive he did always have times where he wasnt and times that he was wondering if i had cheated on him...which i hadnt but because iv been with him that long with nothing i also had the same feelings about him and how i caught it.

    Its normal to feel withdrawn or for the partner to seem a bit withdrawn. There are some very good sites in good gle that explain about herpes i just googled genital herpes and found a lot of advice and reassurance for my partner.

    Nobody will know where you caught it or for how ling you have had it you could have caught it from your current partner but he just hasnt had symptoms or you could have caught from an ex could have been years ago nobody will ever know.

    Its not as bad as it seems having it when the sores go you will both be able to come to terms with it better mentally its not currable but so easily managable.

    Good luck i hope it all works out for you both x

  • amanda16835
    amanda16835

    Posted

    Hi hun thanks for replying. I don't know how this is going to go. I know he loves me but I don't know if that'll be enough for him. we've only been together 6 weeks, he could walk away from me but he may have it now if he didn't already. most of time im alright with it all as ive researched as its not as bad as everyone makes out it to be, i just hope he sees it the same way i do. can i ask a personal question? when you don't have an

    outbreak are ok together normally? and how often do you have outbreaks with you being fairly new to this too? what sites can i get my partner to look at to reassure him? x

  • PYREX
    PYREX

    Posted

    Amanda,

    This is a health board, not a counselling centre, but I just though some objectivity was needed.

    At 6 weeks your partner is probably in lust, not in love he certainly doesn't know you inside out, he barely knows your name. Six weeks is a time when if you find a spark you feel magnetically drawn, and while the hormones are going berserk everything looks rosy.

    BUT in today's risky sexual climate it is frankly fool hardy to have unprotected sex for months never mind weeks, and it would be advisable to get a STI check done before engaging in un protected sex, AFTER you have established the other party is not double dating.

    It only needs a one night stand with a third party for you to be infected with AIDS. For LIFE.

    From the tone of your post I am guessing you do not have too many years under your belt. You already have acquired 1 STD learn from the experience and don't add to the list.

    And it is not the end of the World. When this scared young man moves on as he probably will, there will be another one out there for you. Just protect them and yourself with condoms.

  • pixie1989
    pixie1989

    Posted

    Yeh ok shes asking for advice everyone makes mistakes and things happen im sure you have too........

    Im only 24 and i have herpes going to try and speak down to me aswell??

    Anyway hun i have been very lucky with my outbreaks i havnt really gad another since my first initail outbreak although after sex it is sore but i think thats down to friction aswell but yes we are fine now hun we dealt with it and it doesnt affect us anymore. Weather he moves on or you stay together you will be fine i never really looked at what sites i went on though i just put it in google and clicked on a few that came up they are all quite good at explaining it properly x

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