not quite sure why I'm posting this

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but posts I've read recently seem to have spoken to me. My drinking started in the mad student days of the 1970s - it was the norm - and continued into the wine bar life of the 1980s - it was the norm - and the sophisticated life of the 1990s also revolved around booze. And so by then it was my habit. And it was good that I could hold my booze. But I knew I was hungover pretty much every morning. In the 2000s I lost both my parents and my drinking increased. My hubby was also a heavy drinker and in 2008 he had liver failure and is lucky to be alive. Following this I drank very little for quite a while. But the habit had never left me and I was soon back to more than 2 bottles of wine a day. But after a while I realised it couldnt continue. Then I was clearly told two years ago that I was not able to apply for a position I wanted while I was drinking. This seemed to be the wake up call I needed. I did quite well at reducing my drinking. But once I'd achieved the position it was hard to maintain that level of reduced drinking. So now I drink at home, but not much, if at all, when out, to keep up the appearance. Although I'm not back to where I was, and don't want to be, I still drink far more than I should. I enjoy drinking. But I hate getting drunk. I rarely get drunk now. I've tried nalmefene but it caused a flare up of vertigo that I'd had a couple of years before and which has taken me many months to recover from after just one tablet. I have a very good happy and fulfilled life. I just drink too much. Now I don't really know why I've said all this. I would just like to enjoy drinking without it causing me any problems. Thanks for listening everyone. Any ideas for me?

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  • Posted

    There is another drug almost identical to nalmefene, called naltrexone, that seems to have less side effects reported by people.

    That might be worth a try. Doing it without medication involves a sea change in attitude and mind, one that is very difficult for people. That doesn't mean to say it can't be done. You would have to work out the trigger point when you pour a drink and alter your life (at least until you break the cycle) by finding something to do that occupies your mind. Most people when they work, are able to put alcohol out of their mind, other things to be done. You need to adopt that thought process at home.

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  • Posted

    All that comes to my mind...is this new job?  Is it a stay at home function?

    Very bad if it is sad.  I always thought my quality of work was better and more creative while developing things while drunk...and I still believe I came up with great ideas/solutions while drunk.  Out of the box per sey..lol...

    If I am right...this is the perfect time to say "Be careful what you wish for".  I did the same kinda thing...I left a really good paying job...due to stress...and then..thought I was enjoying some time at home and essentially giving the job the middle finger (what I wished for)...and THEN...I started a very quick downward spiral of drinking for 2 years.

    We all know how you feel being a prisoner to alcohol.  Different people use different approaches.  For me, I had to give up and to the hospital for medical detox.  And I did that 4-5 times in the last 2 years.  Finally, I think I understand that drinking was killing me.

    I'm trying to remember what I wanted to here when I was in your position.  I wanted to hear...Its ok to keep drinking..just cut down (never heard that). 

    What I kept hearing was to get help.  I was in such despair I didn't feel like I was able to get help.  What I kept hearing was I made a great step by admitting I had a problem (that was nothing new for me...I  had been admitting I had a problem with alcohol for over 20 years.

    Honestly, the only way I am sober this time...is I got sick of being sick.  Sick of lying and having people turn away from me.  I felt weak...sick...and called the ambulance for help.  Once they took me....and I was confined - unable to get alcohol...I was able to get well enough to maintain stopping on my own.

    I never want to feel like I did those first few days of detox.  EVER.  But, I never would have stopped if I didn't have help getting thru that.  Not that I wish the worst on anyone here...but I hope that you reach the point where you feel sick enough to call for help.

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  • Posted

    Hello h1954,

    I think you have posted your thoughts because you identify somethings in other people, as part of yourself.  That was a learning curve for me.  I went through similar social conditioning re alcohol, to you. The norm was awash with booze.  I had to persevere with the stuff, in my student days...it made me sick.  Eventually, years down the line, I realised that I was an alcoholic.  I did not even try to stop.  Just took to hiding the extent of the problem. Even from myself...denial !  I don't know if this ramble is of any help to you.  Your post just set me thinking, too.  I don't seem to be reaching any conclusion.

    Take care, my friend.

    Alonangel 🎇

    P.S. I don't enjoy drinking....I just feel I need it.

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    • Posted

      you are both the same...yes, we do want to drinkg but not certain why. YES, the cravings are there but we also know that we want to stop. It all makes sense but we only have one questions....Have I reached rock bottom and have to stop? That is how I stopped but what is "rock bottom"? Somebody here replies that we are all different and what is "rock bottom" is 2 bottles per day and for others 2 bottles of whisky per day..up to you but do know this: our thoughts are with us and we are waiting to see what you both decide...Robin
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    • Posted

      Hi, your first two sentences convey great truth and are probably the best I've read on any of these forums.
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    • Posted

      Hello Colin,

      Thank you for appreciating my thoughts on things. Was it the "identifying things in other people, as part of yourself" ? We are all individuals.....but, we share more than we realise. More than we may even want to.  More than we don't want to. I do value my lone self, yet feel a benefit of sharing, on this Forum.  News to me.

      Alonangel 🎇

       

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    • Posted

      Sorry to be brief but it's past bedtime in my part of the world so I'll write more later but YES, that was it.
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  • Posted

    Yes, Naltrexone might be an alternative, as you can cut the pill and start off with 1/4 dose. Check it out with your GP (I'm assuming that's where you got the Selincro).

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  • Posted

    Hello h1954. Very interesting comments from you. yes, we do want to drinking but not certain why. YES, the cravings are there but we also know that we want to stop. It all makes sense but we only have one questions....Have I reached rock bottom and have to stop? That is how I stopped but what is "rock bottom"? Somebody here replies that we are all different and what is "rock bottom" is 2 bottles per day and for others 2 bottles of whisky per day..up to you but do know this: our thoughts are with us and we are waiting to see what you both decide...Robin
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  • Posted

    Thanks for telling us part of your drinking story. I love it when people do as makes us understand you more and get to know you better. I really identify with your drinking tales and like all of us, you are just trying to find away to control this obsession we have with alcohol. It makes life more bearable for a while but eventually it makes feel worse about ourselves. 

    Hope you get some good feedback on here. 

    Take care x

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