Not sure about taking the meds.....

hun ive read ur message an dI feel that as long as the other girl is good to your daughter uve just got to accept it . Ive also been there an di hated the fact I swore my daughter jade would never meet my exs gf but he went and did it behind my back they all went to the beach for the day he texted me on way back saying u aint going to lik ethis but jades spent the day with emma and they like one another :-( can i just add they now have a baby and emma is really good with jade infact we all get on reasonably well tyhings will work out its better to be on good terms and as i say as long as the wee one is taken care of thats all that matters x

I was perscribed fluoxetine at the beginning of the year. I was finding life hard to deal with work, family, everything was getting on top of me. all my life i have felt like i have had something niggling away at me, i've not felt 'normal' if normal even exists.

I was brought up in a family where you just get on with it. My mum had cancer twice and was perscribed anti depresants to cope with it but she refused to take them saying she doesnt agree with it. so going to the doctors was such a huge step for me admitting that i thought i was depressed was almost laughable in my mums eyes.

I finally went after years and was perscribed fluoxetine. At first they dont really work because it takes a while for them to kick in but when they did i felt like i had a clear head for the first time in ages. Instead of the dread i felt when i felt at my worse and the hatred for everything i felt like i could think for myself again not wait for my depression to take over.

At first i thought i would not take them, but thought i may as wel try because anything is better than feeling bad.

If you feel strong enough try them, it is all up to you but i found them a great help. Psycologically they felt like a crutch for what felt like my strained mind.

Katy

[quote:caa67baf65=\"Blondie84\"]I have been going through a fair bit lately and finding things very difficult to cope with, alot of this is to do with my ex trying to bring another woman into my baby girls life.

I have been described Fluoxetine but am very unsure of taking it having read a lot of posts on here? I don't want to take meds and would like to get through this by myself.

Does anyone know any other ways of beating this? I really dont ant to be on medication.

Nikki x[/quote:caa67baf65]

Hi Nikki

I understand how you feel about your ex bringing someone else into your girls life. my ex left me and took my son to live with someone 9 years younger than we are (we are 26). It is so hard to deal with, its hard for me cos i know my son is living with another man and it upsets me so much, i get so upset that he might call the other bloke dad by mistake and/ or i might get pushed out, my boy is 3. It doesnt get easier but you begin tp learn to cope, i am still learning cos i still find it so hard, but i am coping better than i did.

As for beating this, well i'm on meds so i'm sorry I dont know what to say here!

I hope everything works out, and if you do end up going on meds, it isn't a bad thing sometimes it is just needed and there is nothing wrong with it, depression is an illness like any other.

Good luck

Ryan x

Nikki,

it took me ages to admit I had a problem and wasn't just being hormonal. But I finally went to see a doc last week and started on Fluoxetine last Friday.

I can honestly say it is the best thing I have ever done.

I now know that I do have a problem but it can be beaten. I wasn't just imagining it or over reacting or \"just a bit touchy\".

Today I got another pile of bad news and the Flu really helped me to cope so I am now convinced it is a good thing. I was terrified someone would prescribe me ADs as it was like admiting something I didn;t want to face (how daft is that).

Trust me, checkout the fluoxetine forum as there is a lot of good stuff in there.

I have been low and high and in hospital with depression and now have been past it all for nearly 4 years despite all manner of bad stuff happening in my life.

The pills can help clear your head but it is completely possible to do it without the meds. Try changing your persception of things, when something bad happens try thinking 'that was lucky because....' I burnt tea, that was lucky because now we can treat ourselves to chips, rather that i burnt tea god i'm so useless. Question your negative responses to things. Focus on other things, all the simple things really eat well, its a double benefit nutrition and self care, exercise, don't analyse stuff too much did the lady in the shop think you looked odd- do you really care?

Another thing to remember is there is always someone worse off than you, Your daughter might like his girlfriend but she's your daughter, I nearly had my son removed by social services for no good reason, i have it documented and they have apologised for their mistake, none who has meet me since the case closed knows because i decided that it wasn't going to be my life.

Alot of the time it comes down to drawing a line under things, choosing your battles,being proactive and counting your blessings. All very old fashioned and all very true (i am 31 btw)

none can cure you but yourself have to want to change

Why was i on this site? Because i was curious.

hope any of this helps

ann

Hi Blondie/Nikki,

I can't comment much on your child's situation, other than that it must be difficult, yes. And Fluoxetine will not solve THAT problem.

What fluoxetine can do, is give you back a clearer perspective, should you have lost it. Polly is right, that there are other ways, too. My own case is more like Katy & Lelly's (trying for ages without and being just so glad, that I finally went on it), but only you can tell, how many other things you have tried.

Yes, a good diet (my favourite: fruits e.g. strawberries & cream & a bit of sugar), walks in the fresh air, some friendly reasoning (the kind of nice advice you'd give to a friend - I tend to be nicer to my friends than to myself) - all good and necessary as well. Maybe a family therapeut?

If you really feel anxious about the med's and if you're convinced, they'd give you a feeling of \"I'm a failure, I can't function without chemical prop's\", well, then maybe it is not for you. But if you want rather a bit of reassurance - I recommend them. What dosis did your doc gave you? 20mg is the starter. If you have drops, you may try half the dose at first. I am on half of what is considered the \"therapeutical dose\" of my medication (Citalopram), but it already does the trick. May that not be a solution for you? Starting low, see first how it goes?

I myself found meditation also very helpful, especially when I feel my mind is going out of control. Meditation sounds so big, but really as far as the calming effect goes, any breathing technique sitting down will do. Or jogging, some swear by it. But a short breather may be easier to organise, if you care for a child, than a half hour jog.

Love,

Heidi

[quote:6726081c70=\"Blondie84\"]I have been going through a fair bit lately and finding things very difficult to cope with, alot of this is to do with my ex trying to bring another woman into my baby girls life.

I have been described Fluoxetine but am very unsure of taking it having read a lot of posts on here? I don't want to take meds and would like to get through this by myself.

Does anyone know any other ways of beating this? I really dont ant to be on medication.

Nikki x[/quote:6726081c70]

Taking medication of any sort is YOUR option, there is also the choice of Therapy instead. Which is what im going to be doing. Im not great at advice so i hope this helps you out a bit!.

Hello,

Im not a depression sufferer but my mother has had it all her life, she has told me that medication helps her although she doesnt like taking it. I have seen her when she has refused to take medication or kept forgetting and she relapsed often it was very traumatic for a young child. Im older now i understand more.

I think that taking the medication is worth a try if it doesnt work then they will try other treatments but its best to give it a try.

(dont knock it untill you've tried it

Other treatments such as CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) also work well alongside medication because it helps you turn all the negative thoughts and feeling into positive ones. my mum said a bit of both has helped her she's been the wellest ive ever seen her she has her life together got herself a voluntary job for a charity and does other charity work and she's doing brilliantly.

As for your daughter no one can replace you her mother, so i wouldnt worry too much about it but its easier said than done but she will always love you your her mum.

all the best x