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I’ve been feeling really bad recently but I keep on trying to act like everything’s okay but it’s not, I do drugs pretty much everyday and i know itll make me feel worse at the end but its good whilst it lasts, I was diagnosed with pstd when i was 14, im now 18 turning 19 in a week, ive stopped taking my medication and going to my appointments in the last 6 months, im almost 19 shouldnt i be able to handle my own emotions by now? I recently moved out and have been living on my own for roughly 4 months, my friends came round the otherday and were very judgemental of me and how ive been living since i dont shower or do my laundry, i havent for months just given up with everything, im scared to tell people how i feel and I’m scared of spending my life alone. I don’t feel loved or cared about so sometimes I take extreme measures to make sure people do, or I just do things as a release it’s hard to explain I guess I just have all this stuff built up inside and I just get this feeling that I need to do something like overdose or maybe go on top of a car park roof and that’s the only way to get rid of it but I don’t want to die I just need clarification that people care I guess.
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