Not sure what to call this one!

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Evening or morning where ever you are.

I have just returned from a 3 hour drive out as I didn;t want to stay in the house. Nice drive hardly any traffic so didn't get road rage, not raining, saw plenty of deer, polecat running across the road and a few owls. Music playing singing along felt quite good in a weird way as now I feel ready but not quite sure what, to accept my depression and the way I feel and embrace it or ready to commit the act and be no more. It is as if I am a different person this evening. I even took my bag that I have packed in case I get carted away, It's difficult to explain it is as if i am getting prepared for something but what something. I am calm almost too laid back as if I am waiting !!! It all feels very unreal as if i am a different person. No I haven't taken any meds only the mirt about 10 mins ago no diazepam today.

Can't explain this one maybe someone can spread some light on it.Thanks hope this makes some sense to someone or have I completely lost it ??

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Sounds like you're having one of those calm peaceful times a lot of us depressed people experience. It'd be good  If you can work out what triggered it and repeat those cirumstances.

    Take it as a sign that your life isn't completely lost to depression.  Take care, eh?

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  • Posted

    Hi Tina, how are you feeling now? Do you still have feelings of

    Being ready to "commit the act and be no more"? If you do, I urge you to call your gp out of hours service to discuss your feelings with a doctor.

    These feelings can be frightening and confusing and, worryingly, can make you act impulsively sometimes.

    Look after yourself and stay safe and very best wishes to you

    xx

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  • Posted

    Tina, I'd like a day like that! I don't have a clue what triggered it, but I would pay good money for that king of peace! David
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  • Posted

    Just read your message. i don't get days like that, but I do get the occasional half hour. For me it's a feeling of achievement, however small, and I pat myself on my back (since there's nobody else to do it) and take a few long breaths. I hope it is a positive sign, for you and for all of us who experience this. I would so like to be off all meds and back on the g + t !!
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  • Posted

    Uhm I hope you are alright Tina!

    Usually people who have suicidal ideations get this kind of "calm before the storm" when they are ready to go.

    I feel with you. I had actually the same kind of feeling last night. But wasnt able to go thru with it.

    I hope that your feeling of calm is more one of those "accepting the depression and living with it" moments.

    Sending you lots of hugs!

    B

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