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Nowhere to turn to.. safe to do this alone??

Posted , 15 users are following.

Kentish
Kentish

I've been needing to reduce my alcohol consumption for years but it's now critical I take action. I know I'm drinking myself into an early grave and I can't bear the thought of leaving my kids young without a Mum. 

I'm 53 and have consumed alcohol EVERY evening for about 8yrs, a bottle of white wine sometimes nearer two, there is never a night off. I know I am self precribing to blank out unhappiness/ depression/ stress. I have suffered multiple extreme grief and loss and am stuck in an unsupportive & often hostile relationship. 

I persuaded myself to consult a GP but then got cold feet as I didn't want the world to know my business and i didnt want 'alcoholic' on my medical record in case it was looked at for job reasons.

So I purchased Selinco Nalmafene online and decided to give it a go. But then I panicked. What if I got ill taking it at home on my own, nobody would help me. I had a severe reaction to Dicflenic when in hospital after an Op. Extreme dizziness, confusion etc - what if I reacted badly to Nalmafene?

And what if I was highly dependant was it safe to cut down drastically? I'm less fearful on this scoring 13 on the high dependency self - check questionnaire. I never drink in the mornings and rarely at lunchtime. I have no shaking hands. 

Going round in circles. I did nothing!  The tablets have sat in the cupboard for more than 6 months. 

Today, I decided to explore the GP route being safest but to my dismay I found the NICE recommendations for my region via Google They categoricaly say that Nalmafene must not be prescribed by Primary Care. I would need to be referred to the nearest alcohol /drug unit !

I wil not go there. I know where it is and what people go there. Call it snobby, or cowardly, I know it's both. I can't go there. I don't want group support, I dont want to be alongside hard drug users and I dont want to lose the last ounce of dignity I have left. 

I am scared of the side effects of Nalmafene and want to try Naltrexone. But scared to try either without a liver check and proper medical support.

I'm scared to do this alone. 

I am desperate for 1:1 support and a way of using medicine to help me rid myself of this curse. 

Can anyone suggest how I can achieve this support maybe privately / on-line without having to be residential away from home without it costing a fortune ? 

I know I'm asking for an impossible magic wand sad 

Thank you so much for listening, 

With love, Kentish Lady x 

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  • KGC
    KGC Kentish

    Posted

    Hi Kentish, I hope you are doing well. My opinion, I think you have thought about this throughly and you know what you want and should do, and what you can do. Saying this, I was blessed with a terrific parients, my Mom and I did alot of laughing, and we were extremly close. Me and my Dad were also close. My parents always had a great sence of humor. That was passed on to me and my sislings. The father was a functioning Alcholic for the last 40 years of his life, he died at 85. I said he was a functioning Alcoholic, meaning he would drink from 7 PM till 11 PM everyday, but he was never abusive towards anyone he would never get so drunk to the point of being incoheriantcy or loss of himself. The only thing was it got in the way of his life. I drank from the age of 16 until 27. I woke up one afternoon after a night at the club (I'm an 80's Kid) I felt so ashamed, just like I felt around 40 times before for missing work and sleeping 10 hours. I was lucky (not really) I was self employed. I decided to write down what I did for the previous 30 days, and I mean everything. This may soung korney, but I was missing out on life. My at the time girl friend drank, but it wasn't her fault. I found I was not where I wanted to be at that time in my life. I found by not drinking or smoking cigs (thank GOD now at $10.00 a pack) I did almost twice what I did in a day than when I drank and ya smoked. My brain woke up, I truthfuly felt like I was wide awake,  I didn't even know I was sleeping. My opinion, all activites like drinking, drugs, partying, and not living by any self emposed rules, ie   way to do things make your life have no direction and your life feels like one set of events repeting themselfs over and over again. The Movie Dark City, it was a wierd movie, but the lead man said, if you want to know what make people who they are, (he pointed to his head) your looking in the wrong place. As me and my friends use to say, "think about it". May you figure out your worries and live life, I wish you comfort and contentment. Thanks for reading

    • KGC
      KGC

      Posted

      This is KGC again,

      By no means am I emplying or suggesting this or anything in life is easy. I feel I wrote my reply like this will be so easy. Believe me and others it is NOT. Take Care.

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