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Obsession/attachment/addiction over a friend?help.

Posted , 2 users are following.

saradomin
saradomin

Hi there,this is my story,me 25y male and my friend 24y female,we are friends for over 1 year,all good untill 3 weeks ago when i started to have some feelings over her,i think its an obsession.

The thing is lately i miss her alot,think alot about her,im kinda needy i need attention from her,when i hang out with her i feel so good like im high and when im not with her or we don't talk on facebook i feel a little empty.

Another thing that tell me its obsession its that i enjoy to help her if i can,like im addicted to her,to be needed,sometimes im sad to think that in one day she will not need any help for me,so selfish here yeah i know.

Another thing is im not attracted to her in a romantic way,she even have an boyfriend and im ok with that im never jealous when she is with him,im happy for her because i know she love him alot and also him love her much.I just want to be friends like we used to be.

I really don't want to cut her from my life forever she didn't do anything wrong,she is a good friend and always helped me if she could,oh man so many good memories,so many nice things that we did together.

Maybe someone can help me to cut this obsession....

I posted on another forum to but noone replied.

2 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • archemedes
    archemedes saradomin

    Posted

    This is a difficult one simply because obessions over inanimate objects can be difficult to break, but when they involve two people of a different sex then obsessions can prove quite destructive. 

    I take it that you have already discussed your dependency problem with this lady?

    If so, I would be quite interested to hear what she had to say about it.

    As a general rule any reliance or dependence on another unrelated person of another sex who already has an 'attachment' needs to be solved quickly, otherwise it can become an all-encompassing issue where it becomes the central focus of our lives and everything else suffers as a consequence.

    My first instinct was to advise you to cut-off your relationship with her altogether, but maybe that can be avoided if you can come to terms and be satisfied with a mutually respectful mature friendship with less reliance on your part. 

    • saradomin
      saradomin archemedes

      Posted

      Im thinking to tell her,when i see her but i don't think she would like it,like i said i don't see her as a woman but as a friend,and i know she is a great friend she showed me many times,especially once when i had  a bigger problem and nobody could help me,she did.
    • archemedes
      archemedes saradomin

      Posted

      As a general rule try to remember that women do not like obsessional men, so be cautious how you talk to her.
    • saradomin
      saradomin archemedes

      Posted

      Talked to her today,asked what is in her heart,she told me she don't trust me like she uesed to,she don't like me like she liked before.
    • archemedes
      archemedes saradomin

      Posted

      That is what I thought, but at least you tried.

      If you can learn to change your obsessional behaviour, and particularly your almost possessive approach and still communicate with her, she may see a change in you and learn to trust you again over time.

      Whatever you do, please do not now go into overdrive and start stalking her, because that could really start the sparks fying.

      Just ease-off and let her have some space.

      As a general rule women do not give up on their friends unless the friendship has become too heavy and damaging to them, so in this case all it may need is time. 

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