Obsessive self image issues? Please help

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Hi, I’m not sure if this is the right place to talk about this but I’m getting desperate for any advice or just someone who understands what I’m talking about because no one seems to. Basically, I’m very very obsessed with how I look. I know that sounds really vain, but it’s not like that, I don’t wanna be perfect or look perfect, I just wanna feel comfortable with myself? If that makes any sense? I have this big insecurity particularly with my jaw and chin, as I believe its severely weak, but others say they don’t see it that way. Recently I got work done on it, I had chin and jawline filler and it’s something I’ve wanted since I was 16 years old (I’m 18 now) so you can imagine how relieved I felt knowing this feeling was gonna be fixed. its been a few days now and i feel like its made me obsess over it more, I see absolutely LITTLE difference sometimes then other times I’ll see a nice shape but I keep seeing it as “it’s disappeared and gone back to its old shape” (I’ve only had it since Friday.) but it constantly changes, while others say they see a great change although I “didn’t need it”. Now I’m obsessing with how I’m gonna keep up with the filler, and it’s driving me crazy. A similar thing happens with my body, for example I have a jacket that Used to fit me nicely but it’s too big on me now which made me feel great but when I look in the mirror I see completely overweight. I walk around with a fake clip in fringe every single day because I’m concerned with how big my forehead is, I draw a fake hairline on with eyeshadow whenever I don’t wear the fringe (which is really rare) I know others may do this as it’s a common insecurity for some, but I will not leave the house unless I 1) have either a fake fringe to cover my head or colour in my hairline 2) heavily contour my jawline (and then I’m never satisfied and constantly trying to hide it while I’m out). I never realised how bad it was until I got my jaw done, I’m still not satisfied. I didn’t get too much filler as I went with what was recommended to me, and honestly I’m not the richest person in the world, I literally saved up everything I have in order to pay for this when others usually have it as a “treat”, I had it done because I just wanted to feel comfortable with myself. I’ve tried accepting myself for years, and it’s just not working. I go to college 4 days a week and there’s days where I have to leave early because I can’t handle sitting there knowing people can see me and how I look, I cant seem to relax without looking at myself and making sure it’s not gone or my forehead isn’t “exposed” . There’s a lot more I could explain but I don’t wanna make this too long lol I’m so sorry for the lengthy post, but does anyone have any experience with this type of stuff? should i talk to my gp? I’m terrified of my own mind cause I feel like it’s playing mind tricks on me, but im also scared to talk to someone just incase they also think im being vain and stupid. Its truly making me miserable.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    You have the same problem as superstar Mike Jackson, provided that you must be confident. If you get perfection through pain, I think it will remain the same, because it is an operation that cannot be recovered.

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  • Posted

    Hello Jessica.

    I do feel for you as today's social media and celeb culture seems to send us images that make us all feel inadequate. I see girls with lip fillers, horrific fake eyebrows and orange skin, which isn't at all attractive and only accentuates the plastic look!

    You are obviously a beautiful girl and should look at trying to accept your imperfections and start to love them, they are what make you you. Natural beauty is so much more attractive, and that doesn't have to be 'perfection' whatever that is? Look in the mirror each morning and tell yourself you are gorgeous. Go out with your head held high, the more you practise, the better you will begin to feel. Eventually you'll be able to go out without make up and not care a jot. Believe me, you can do it!

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  • Edited

    I think you could be suffering from body dysmorphia whereby you obsess over real or imagined flaws. No matter how much plastic surgery you have you can never be satisfied, so save your money and seek medical help instead. That's my advice.

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  • Posted

    hi Jessica..Firstly if you only tell part of your story no one gets the whole facts..From the info you have given I agree with another comment that you may have body dysmorphia..

    I am just an average looking woman, however my daughter is a stunner ( not biased ) and a real Head Turner wherever she goes..Until recently I had no idea she had body dysmorphia, it matters not what changes you make surgical or non surgical as you think you have fixed one thing you will find another and so on..What you see in your mirror is not what others see but whilst you are still young try speak to your GP or other self help or groups to get support..its not about striving for perfection or wanting to be like social media etc expects people to look like, but it is a condition that can be helped, building up your self esteem, self confidence and using your personality until you get to a point where somethings may still feel like mountains other things will become mole hills.

    No matter how many people tell you, you look fine, you didn't need that doing unless they have dysmorphia too they just won't understand they are not walking in your shoes..but try seek advice don't spend years of your life feeling this way, there are things, groups / people to help.

    Make 2 lists

    List 1..All the things you are not happy with about you.

    List 2 all the things that are good about you..ie: nice smile, personality, nice eyes, friendly, caring etc.

    Look at both lists and you will find lots of positive things about you that are nothing to do with your looks, it wont be a quick fix but you'll start to slowly smile at your reflection in the mirror.. I hate photos but take a few photos of yourself and you can bet your last dollar that the person you see in the mirror is not what is on the photographs..All the best Jessica and well done for trying to find out what the problem / issue was.

    Before you go on to fall in love etc you have to start to love yourself..My daughter is now doing ok and all the hard work was done by her once she realized why she felt that way..Not sure if you have parents or trusted adult you could confide in..if you dont tell anyone they will not know how you feel..stay strong and smile !

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