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Obsessive thought is getting too much.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Luke7580
Luke7580

Hi, One of my main anxiety symptoms is obsessive thoughts, well to be honest id say it was an obsessive 'thought', i get a constant, almost metronomic obsessive thought about a physical imperfection I have. I get though4s in my head 'telling me' that my anxiety/obsessive thoughts will never leave me as i have this imperfection. Ive suffered with anxiety/depression for as long as I can remember, as a primary school kid I never went on trips or school sports days as I was scared, at 18 I had some sort of a break down, when I look back at my life im 99.999% convinced I have some form of chemical imbalance, back in 97 I was inches/seconds from suicide but managed to stay on the planet, I was then prescribed citalopram than slowly helped me, ive been on cit on and off since 1997, everytime I ween myself down to virtually nothing I go into meltdown, as I found out a few months ago, so I went back on a decent ammount 5 weeks ago(20mg) the first 3 and half weeks were great, I could feel myself improving, and the obsessive thoughts diminishing, so much so I wrote how good I felt on the ciralopram forum, since then tho I feel awful again, the thought is driving me insane, the physical symptom (butterflies in stomach, tight chest and pounding heart) are coming back as well. When taking citalopram is it common for these huge upsand downs?I have booked an appointment with my dr for tuesday, maybe 20mg isnt enough for me? Is an obsessive thought about an imperfection normal in anxiety? I feel so low and would really appreciate an answer or two to my questions.... thank you so much.... luke

0 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • richard89308
    richard89308 Luke7580

    Posted

    maybe you have a health anxiety or you are possibly a bit self conscious about your appearance.

    richard

  • gillian20097
    gillian20097 Luke7580

    Posted

    Hello Luke.

    I totally  understand where you are coming from as I am also suffering the same thoughts but mine are centred around my teeth.

    I will explain to you exactly the way my shrink explained to me.

    Normally this thought would be something we would just shrug off and think nothing much about but as it caught us at a time when our minds where vulnerable,it has stuck. The depression and anxiety has centred in the one thing we are most conscious of.

    As the depression and anxiety lift...the thought and sensations will firstly fade into the background and then disappear.

    It will take time..You will have bad days and better days....the better days will turn into great days and the bad days will turn into better days until eventually you have all great days.

    5 weeks is a short amount of time where antidepressants are concerned and negative thinking about anything are very common.

    I stopped citalopram after 8 weeks and am now 4 weeks into mirtazapine and I'm still plagued by a constant thought of my teeth. Good days I handle it and it seems less but bad days I feel horrendous,like this is never going to end.

    What keeps me going is that I went through exactly the same thing 13 years ago and although it took a while,I fully recovered,the thoughts disappeared.

    Your mind will strengthen first and you will realise these thoughts don't bother you so much and then because your mind has no use for it anymore...it will disappear xx

     

    • Luke7580
      Luke7580 gillian20097

      Posted

      Thamk you so much gillian and richard, gillian your reply is almost a form of medication in itself. Im not gonna lie my obsessive thought is about my p@#&s, it isnt what I would call a 'perfect shape' and it bothers me like u wouldnt believe, sometimes I get worried that its my p@#&s that is CAUSING the anxiety/obsessive thought, u could reassure me if u like thats not the case!!...... Thank you, massively appreciated. ?..xx
    • tracie20455
      tracie20455 gillian20097

      Posted

      Gillian, that is so helpful, and such a positive reply... And so true! That is exactly how it is! 
    • gillian20097
      gillian20097 Luke7580

      Posted

      I just seem to be having penis chats lately but hey I dint mind.

      I will tell you the same as I told a young man on here yesterday.

      Us women don't put the same significance on sex as you guys do. We like it but we prefer all the bits that come before it more. The hugs...the attention...the feeling of safeness.

      Now I've seen a few penises in my time(1or2)ahem and let me tell you this...there is no perfect shape or size. Truthfully though...they where all ugly because penises are but they where all(I mean both)individual in there own way. 

      Big,small,fat,thin,turn to the left,turn to the right....whatever...they all do the same job and when you are with somebody who loves you dearly,the job they do is even better xxx

    • Aspinan
      Aspinan gillian20097

      Posted

      That is such good advise and what I say to myself also when I'm "locked" in obsessive thinking. I've almost trained my brain to "block" the thoughts when they are really anxiety provoking, when my anxiety calms I've either let it go or let the thought through and if I feel ok with it I rationalise it, if it becomes anxiety provoking again I shut it out. It's not easy but I can push them to the back of my mind. Dealing with the anxiety does help and I often find if it develops to a point I can't control the anxiety and the catastrophic thoughts start I ride it out as once it's done it's "business" i tend to know nothing bad will happen and I've "got over it". 
    • Aspinan
      Aspinan Luke7580

      Posted

      Hi Luke.. Exactly what Gillian said regarding the anxiety and obsessive thoughts, they are not your normal thoughts and as you get better you will notice your obsession and anxiety slowly go and you will see it for what it is.

      There is really no such thing as a perfect shape, there are just average shapes and given the male population probably in your nearest city there must be all sorts of shapes and sizes to arrive at an "average". 

      There are some medical conditions which can bend an erect penis to the right or left (a curve upwards is normal btw) either way why not speak to your GP about your thoughts and to put you at ease both physically and mentally. 

  • Luke7580
    Luke7580

    Posted

    Hi Aspinan, its the obsessiveness of the thoughts what bothers me, if its just anxiety playing its tricks then fine, they have been around for 3 years now, on and off, and that hopefully is because ive been a naughty boy regarding my meds and not been taking them properly, someone once told me "if you were to make your penis the shape u wanted, your current anxiety would just jump on another "imperfection" and the obsessive thoughts would start all over again" does this make sense? Ive seen a urologist a couple of years ago and he said its fine, ive seen my dr since and he refused to let me go again as he feels it would exasperate my anxiety.
  • Luke7580
    Luke7580

    Posted

    Hi again Gillian, so just to clarify, even if there WAS something wrong with my penis, thats NOT the reason I get the obsessive thoughts, i get them because I have anxiety/chemical imbalance, similar to you and your teeth? And I just carry on with my life as best I can and keep taking my cit? Thank you x
    • gillian20097
      gillian20097 Luke7580

      Posted

      Exactly. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Try and have time for relaxation also though. Don't wear yourself out.xxx.
  • susan63652
    susan63652 Luke7580

    Posted

    hi luke i no how you feel fear off going out heart pumping cant get out of bed dont want to go to work feel down because i feel like this the doctors are trying to sort some more meds for me even though im on loads and my body is used to them and dont work anymore people dont understand and im glad i have found this sight because you think your the only one suffering it is horrible
  • Luke7580
    Luke7580

    Posted

    Thanks Gillian... thanks susan
  • amanda18
    amanda18 Luke7580

    Posted

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with your penis Luke, I guarantee it smilexxx I suppose if you are feeling self-conscious, it might help to think about how many women feel about their vulvic regions - it's much more taboo and the variations are extreme. Not to mention the emphasis that is put on having a nice neat tidy area in terms of hair, shape and don't even get me started on labias!

    The point is Luke, is that it is fairly common to feel uncomfortable about our private parts, but hopefully, when you meet someone, your worries will disappear. They will probably feel exactly how you feel, and be far more concerned with what you might think about their bits xxx

    • Luke7580
      Luke7580 amanda18

      Posted

      Thanks amanda, ive been with someone for 3 years! She says there is no problem, so pretty certain its an anxiety problem as the obsessive thoughts I get get about it are totally incessant, they never stop and drive me insane, the thoughts are affecting my life, I imagine its something to do with OCD, and have tried to get on with life medication free, but couldnt cope, im on 20mg citalopram now and have been told I may have some form of chemical imbalance as ive had anxiety since I can remember and heard some good things regards cit and obsessive thoughts. X
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