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OCD about going crazy?

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alicia131720
alicia131720

so i had just harm ocd and when i got over that i started fearing that i would go crazy and then do those things i feared in harm OCD. so everything surrounding me and my thoughts i pay super close attention to. anyways i realized that these fears increase when my bf goes back to work but over weekends its not as bad at all. like my sleep is badly interrupted because the OCD makes me feel anxiety about the what ifs when he goes to work. also another thing is ill wake up and my mind is racing and thinking unimportant things that make no sense sometimes and i take that as a sign of insanity, its hard to explain it though. also sometimes a thought will pop into my head like for example what if you start holding delusions and strong beliefs about your kids and sometimes ill just be sitting there and be looking at one of my kids and a thought will pop into my head like oh what if theyre part of a simulation but then im like no way but its a battle cause im also dealing with derealization so that could be why. also my anxiety is the worst when i wake up in the night time, i wake up feeling like my thoughts are irrational (the ones i have after i wake up) and the racing thoughts and scrambled brain with the thoughts, i feel like even when im asleep im hyper aware of what my brain is doing and when i first wake up i am too a lot of the time if i hear a noise i question if its real or fake, i get irrational thoughts that make me question my sanity and just feel the worst at night and when i wake up in the middle of the night. its just odd to me that these feelings are at their worst during the work week, get better on the weekend by alot, not 100% but probably 70 to 80% better. is this a good sign im not losing it and its just the OCD? also i have looked at counselors online and they charge 300+ a month and i cannot afford that at the moment so im just taking it 1 step at time and hoping i cant figure something out in regards to receiving help.

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2 Replies

  • jan34534
    jan34534 alicia131720

    Posted

    you don’t need to suffer like this.

    Many communities offer free or low-cost counseling. You can check with your local Community or , you can even check with churches in your area who offer counseling or who can give you resources for counseling. Many people who cannot afford traditional counseling are able to do this. You need to talk to somebody because you need some support right now. You can learn how to stop overthinking and relax your mind.

    you are Not "losing it or crazy " because you are AWARE of what you are doing. People who have real problems are not even aware of what they are doing. THAT is the big difference!

    . . Millions of people suffer with the same crazy thoughts related to anxiety or OCD. Very common. You need to express this to somebody Who can help you tone it all down so you feel better. Don’t try to do it alone

    . What most of us need to do is to get out of our head. That’s the problem. we need to be more external. We need to keep busy so as not to think so much. That keeps us grounded. When I do things for other people I don’t think about what’s in my head.

    so call around for that support. Take the first step and you will be on your way to feeling better! Take care

  • Shinymoon
    Shinymoon alicia131720

    Edited

    Hi I see that you are going through some though times but that makes the two of us, OCD can be really hard and challenging but recovery is possible that's what I'm working on my advise to you is try not to engage with the thoughts because it's a lost battle what I want you to do instead is whenever a thought comes just welcome it for example you're thinking "oh my god I might loose my mind I might kill someone" you're response should be like this "yeah right whatever" I know I know that sounds crazy but you're showing your mind that these are not important but if you fight them your mind thinks that these thoughts are important so it will keep sending it to you and don't worry with the same thing some times I have good days and bad days but recovery isn't linear.

    oh and there's a forum for people who have ocd it's very helpful I can send you the link if you want.

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