ocd urges during a bad panic attack?

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Hi my names allison and im 31 i have posted a few post about the hard time im having with panic attacks at the moment but I never explained the whole story because it is to painful but I really need some advice. back in November last year my ocd flared up quiet bad I was diagnosed with icd at 19 and im not on meds as it normally under control but it flared up bad in November for roughly a montg of super intense ocd I developed server panic attacks. These panic attacks were the compelty different to the ones ive always experience since I was 15 the only symptoms i had during the attacks Was a intense feeling of impending doom and I felt like insanity was near the sense of fear Was unbelievable I cant even explain the horrible feelings during the attacks i had no physical symptoms of panic and thesd attacks went in for up to 4hours hitting me every fee minutes. During the second attack i had i was getting thoughts that I need to urgently get to a mental hospital asap thats how out of control i felt but what scared me the most is i also had a thought during the attack thst I may need to kill myself and I had an urge to jump of a cliff now im not sure weather this suicide thought was just my ocd as I have experienced harm thoughts not about harming myself but family ect with my ocd in the past the fact that I had a sucidial thought and urge makes me so uncomfortable and its that what scares me the most i mean what if I have ine of these attacks again and I lose control and snap and kill myself I don't wont to but my ocd is saying maybe you do wobt to kill your self . Naturally after that attack i got attacks daily and my ocd keept putting suicial thoughts in my mind during these attacks it was so horrible its been a month since these horrid attacks but I still ferl not myself and im finding thst when I think of the attacks or even when I go to certain places that reminds me of the attacks i start to get derealization or I disconct from myself even writing this post ive gotten derealisation I feel werid because I find it very difficult to relive what I experienced. Sorry for such a long post and hope I dont sound like im whining about nothing im just scared and dont ferl whole thanks for any help. And I forgot to add Im not on any meds I can't rake antidepressants now because I read that they can cause sucidial thoughts in some people so my ocd wont alliw I i was on luvox for a week and all I thought sbout was suicide nit cause I wont to but cause my heaf keept ssying what if this what if thst aggg it drives me nuts.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Sorry for such terrible spelling everyone my minds racing
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    • Posted

      You are not going mad I was exactly the same. Until I finally got on meds. They are just thoughts and it means u are still in control , it's awful I know . But meds is the only way and yes it can increase the anxiety I got even more suicidal but I had some support and I tried so hard to tell my self NO these are thoughts I'm not going to do it I'm ill I need to be strong, sounds like it's easy and it's NOT at all plz get on the meds maybe being in a hospital until you stabilise? ?
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    • Posted

      Awww this is horrible. I'm also not on meds for same reason, but think that a low dose may well take the edge off some of the racing thoughts. And btw, I wouldn't recommend any caffeine as it can make your anxiety worse.

      Suicidal thoughts are horrendous and scary but the moment you accept you're having them and accept that time will take them away then you'll stop having them, easier said than done I know! Are you getting any therapy to help though? I've just started mine again, and I'm definitely considering going on medication, but I want to start on a really really low dose if possible, as like you I don't want my anxiety to get worse by taking drugs. Big hugs though, I know this is horrible but it will get better you know it will.

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  • Posted

    All antidepressants can cause suicidal thoughts, but it's because they make you feel worse before you feel better, And they take time to work. Although if you are a young adult the suicidal thoughts can be more intense. If you do decide to get on antidepressants/medications for ocd just rememenber it takes time to work and may feel worse before better. If any real bad suicidal thoughts come and continue you mad e need xanax or klonopin but they can make you sleepy through the day. 

    With that saidAnd if you take a nap in the day  you will wake up with panic attack  probably. So try and stay awake with drinking coffee all through the day till bed time then take a xanax or klonopin to get off to sleep if you need it, But again not through the day or again wake up with fear an panic,,,,But a long hot shower and or cold shower will make you feel much better. 

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