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I am a sufferer of PTSD and finally managed to pluck up the courage to speak to my Doctor about it today, but left feeling deflated, I turned to him for help only to feel fobbed off!
I know this may sound harsh but it really took a lot out of me to admit my issues in front of another person, but Ive been suffering with all the classic symptoms for a while now
I am ex military and then went on to work as a private security contractor in places like afghan Iraq Libya and more , When things got tough I coped, when we lost guys I managed, pushing things to the back of my mind and I made fun of some god awful situations (typical army way of dealing with things having a dark sense of humour ) Ive lost friends and colleagues over the years and been in some horrible situations very recently I lost a good friend in afghan and as a result of this It has brought everything Ive done and seen before to the front of my mind and it has me on edge, I blame myself i cant sleep and have no interest in anyone or anything, I'm a grown ass man and yet feel as if i want to cry all the time, I don't want to talk about the things I've done and seen with a complete stranger i.e therapy or a doctor etc but cant keep things inside my head any longer, its only a matter of time before I take a swan dive from something high, I don't want to appear to be weak nor do I want sympathy or a pat on the back, I guess I just wanted to blurt it out to see if it feels better to get it off my chest?
Thank you for listening .
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