Off the rails till back on track

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi All

I hope all of you are feeling ok and things are looking up (if not dont worrie it will soon)

I would like to make an apoligy for some of the things i said last week.

Booze is not the answer (esp when it comes to mothering laws) and is not a good idea when on cit.

I went of the rails last week i had very low self esteam and well i just felt sorry for myself. I drank and i stoped eating both things i now see where not the greatest idea i have ever had!!!

I am feeling better this week even after as slip up on Monday lunch time with a bottle of wine.

I am sure this drug is helping me in one way but in other not so much I go from being happy Marie to sad Marie in seconds i have even cried at work.

Before I got \"ill\" i didnt drink that much and now i seam to be doing it alot more mainly for confidance as i have very bad self image.

I want to get better and i am going back to see the GP (again) lets hope this he has a merical cure

Love to all

Marie

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Marie

    Hope you are feeling better this morning.

    I hope you get on with your GP I have come to the conclusion that they really don't know much about mental health problems.I do know that everyone is different and there are plenty of different AD to try to find the one that suits you. Have you asked for some councelling I have had a little and it does work. I think you need both to help the tablets work and you to sort out with whatever you are trying to deal with.

    My children and hubby keep me going as I want them to be happy too and not to worry about me.

    Take care look after yourself and keep working at it. It will get better.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi

    things are not going well i am drunk again and i cant get a gp appointment untill monday!!!!

    Things go from bad to worse>>>>>>>>>>

    Cit has helped me in so meny ways but i feel mt behavour at pressent is more about my identity problems

    i need help in a big way ..Monday at GP is Last hope before AA

    Love you all

    Marie XX

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  • Posted

    Hi Marie

    I know you can do this keep thinking I can do this I can beat this.

    Go and sit in your GPs waiting room and insist youre seen today. Take the positive steps and keep on going.

    I keep in touch with my GP just so he knows I'm still ill. Just keep going back and tell them how you feel.Don't get rude just be a nuisance keep pestering its the only way I seem to get through.

    Does your work do a councelling service? My hubby does I have had 6 sessions which have helped a lot and i can ring any time i like to chat and its all confidential.

    Take care hope you have a better day.

    Lizzy.

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  • Posted

    Hi Lizy

    Thanks for your kind words and advice. I dont now how i ended up in such a mess last night I was out with the directors of my company and the red wine was flowing

    I had parents eveing before i went out for my youngest and her bloody teacher was trying to tell me she was dislexic, she is not she is hyper active and enjoys having the crack, she read me her school book this morning and she read it fine, she is only 5 and can read a right.

    they want to get a professinal in to monitor her i am worried if they look to closely they will see that she has ADHD and put her on meds like they did to me as a child, she is only 5 and i dont want her to end up pill poping like i have.

    I was an hyperactive child annd i think the misunderstanding of this by my parents is alot to do with my mental health these days, my baby will always have my support but i am unsure that attitudes have changed enough for her to have a far chance at school. We have known she has ADAH since she was a baby the midwife pointed it out but you cant diagnose them until they start school. she is a bright girl like i was and i am now an architect so it didnt effect my education to much i am so worried for her i have a meeting with the head teacher this afternoon.

    I couldnt face going to work this morning after my drunkness last night, i called in and they all sounded hung over so i think i got away with it this time. I am not hung over i feel fine today witch i find worrying.

    So meny things going on at the moment my head cant take it.

    My husband said he will keep me of the booze this weekend and i am sticking to my Monday appointment i did try and go this morning but i couldnt get an appointment at all I even tried lying and saying i had an asthma attack but they told me to go to the hopsital.

    Thanks for replying to my posts it helps that their is people out there that understand and can advise basied on their experiances rather then an doctor how has no idea of how we all really feel.

    Thanks again and i hope you are feeling ok in your self today

    Kindest regards

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Oh Marie you poor thing. Try to take one day at a time and perhaps find at least one thing positive you have done that day and fell proud you have done that thing. Even if it just going to the doctors think positive and think \"I have been to the doctors today I am helping myself get better\" I am going to come on here and ask you what positive thing you have done !!!!!

    Also try and stay off the booze!!

    My positive goal for today is that I am going to our local shopping center easy for most people but is used to bring me out in a panic attack.... too many people around. It still makes me feel a bit uneasy but I CAN do it now

    Take care all

    Andrea K

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  • Posted

    Hi Andrea

    i am feeling better today and i stayed of the booze last night i feel quite pleased with my self.

    I am taking my girls to lunch today i hope it will go ok the little one plays up but i dont mind its how she is, i have got used to people looking.

    Good luck on your shoping trip its a good step forward and if it gets to much take time out in the loo's or grap a coffee then try again you cn do it honey and treat your self to something nice.

    Let us no how you get on I will be thinking of you sending happy thoughts (every little helps)

    good luck

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Hi Andrea and Marie

    Hope you had a good weekend.?

    Andrea hope the shopping trip went OK?

    Marie hope you get on Ok at the docs tomorrow.

    I'm hoping for some appointment letters will come next week for phyciatric assessment and an appointment to see a specialist.

    :magic: :hug: to improve the week.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi Girls,

    i need the doc's tomorrow today is awlful i feel so nurvours about my daughters trip away i keep going into her room and rubbing her head just do be near her and she is not going to be there tomorrow night. i feel sick and wobbly, i had a painic attack earlier i told the girls and hubby it was a asthma attack i just hid in the bath room untill it passed.

    I am leaving for work at 7am tomorrow and once i come back she will be gone.

    i have not been drinking but i have smoked about 40 cigs.

    hope you are all ok

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Hi Marie

    Hope your not feeling too bad.

    The time will soon pass and i'm sure shes having a great time.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi Marie

    Sorry i've been away for so long. I was hoping to hear that you were a lot better but it looks like you've been going through the mill of late.

    I really hope the doc manages to sort out your meds so that you can function better.

    Thinking of you

    Best wishes. x :wink: :roll:

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  • Posted

    Thanks Meganpooch, i am taking diazapane(valumn) along side the cit, its only my 2nd day and i feel like a zombie today I am hoping this will improve in a few days, bloody side effects!!!

    How are you are you still on flu?

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Hi Marie

    Damn good stuff that diazepam. Did the doc increase your dose of cit?

    Yep, i'm still on flu - 40mgs for the last 5 weeks. It's definitely changed things. I don't have mood swings anymore, just static.

    The real bugbear for the last couple of days is total lack of sleep. I'm tired all day and all evening. Then about 10pm i'm wide awake and nothing i take (apart from Diazepam) seems to knock my silly brain out.

    Oh well, maybe that will settle down again.

    Hope each day for you improves. I know what zombie feels like. :? :wink:

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