off work 1 month anxiety, feel like I can't return

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi everyone, I am 25 and have felt anxious as far back as I can remember e.g. all school, social events and in adulthood throughout my worklife.

I have had over 10 jobs in the past 9/10 years, which to me is more than anyone else I know, it's obvious that I'm a job hopper. Up until around 6 months ago I thought that Was The main issue, that I was just a job hopper who got bored of jobs and couldn't stick around. But now it's clearer to me that it is down to anxiety (social) that I avoid confrontation and staying too long in jobs as I would take weeks off at a time then just not go back!

It does get frustrating and my career isn't progressing - I'm always the new girl in jobs then leave usually no longer than 6 months to a year later. I think the longest I have stayed in a job was in retail for 2 years, don't get me wrong I still felt anxious but I loved the people that worked there as they were all my age.

I have been in my current job for around 11 weeks and have already been off for around 4 weeks. I am due to go back in 2 days but feel like i just can't so I feel like getting my sick note extended for another week and then go back in a weeks time (after Christmas).

I just would appreciate any advice on How To settle back in after being off for a month and How To avoid the stares and people wondering why i was off. I'm dreading having to see colleagues and them thinking I just wanted to skive off work over Xmas. Help!!!!

2 likes, 9 replies

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    It's stress that can create so many issues. Hope you have seen a therapist who can help,with meds. Sometime we need meds to balance hormones in the brain that cause anxiety issues.


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    • Posted

      Hi thanks for the reply. My doctor has given me propanolol 40mg to take as and when but no more than 3 daily.

      I do think it's more anxiety as I do have the symptoms, trembling and heart pounding etc. I just really can't face going back to work in 2 days, any more advice would be appreciated. I can't deal with colleagues asking or wondering why i have been off as I have only just started the job. I know I really should go back in 2 days and that by extending my sickline will only prolong my anxiety as I will not be facing it but I just cant. sad


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    • Posted

      Tell your doc that maybe additional meds are needed. How hog have you been on current meds. It takes two weeks for meds to level out blood level. 

      Be brave put on a strong hell and overcome your fears. DONOT let fear define who you are. It may be much more and I don't know all you health history.

       I know I my case it eventually passes but a journal help me to write down my daily thoughts. Then read back a week later and see how you have Shane's . It pro grapes one day at a time. It works as long as you do the work too!


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  • Posted

    hell=Face. Shane's= changes. Darn spell checker. Sorry!

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  • Posted

    You sound like the same as me but opposite! I have only had the one job - been there for 8 years and I am only 26. My career is on stand still, I have worked it around uni, got my qualifications etc and always thought "better the devil I know" and make up excuses not to leave?! It's causes my depression and anxiety yet I am scared to step into the unknown.

    I had a bit of a break down and ended up being off for a month and a bit. Going back was tough though. Everyone was concerned but I found through my experience you find out who your friends are and people are surprising, I got a lot of support and help in phasing me back into work.

    Propranolol helps amazingly, I have had better luck with that than any antidepressant.

    My therapist said something which always stuck - the environment always stays the same, it's only your reaction that changes. Maybe not wanting to go back is your anxiety / flight response sub-conciously telling you?

    Try to challenge the mindset and ask yourself why? Is it the questions you'll get asked? The thought of being judged etc?

    The hardest part with anxiety is it's not physical. And yeah I got a lot of comments off people thinking I was skiving time off etc, the unfairness of reduced hours etc etc. You just have to learn to not let it get to you sadly. Not everyone is understanding and some people are anally retentive and breath company policy, they only see the world in black and white sadly.

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    • Posted

      I appreciate your reply, thank you!

      I hope you are on the mend and that your therapy sessions and propanolol help and eventually hopefully you can be brave enough to leave the job and seek something you enjoy a bit more, aka don't let your anxiety stop you from leaving.

      You're right about me being the same but the opposite, my anxiety is definitely a flight mode and I need to just get out. My job involves a lot of being on the phone and others in the office I fear that they judge what and how I say things. This makes me believe I have social anxiety as fear what others think and the negative judgement sad

      Whereas for yourself it seems your anxiety and depression have you land in freeze mode and therefore feel like you can't leave your job? I find the brain and mental health all very fascinating but being in the situation sucks!

      I just can't face going back in 2 days, and I know by extending suckling for another week won't necessarily help but my thoughts are so strong and anxiety is telling me to to do!!!! Would it be really basic i did get it extended? This would be my fourth week off if I do...

      Thank you!

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    • Posted

      It wouldn't be really bad at all. If you are not ready anxiety or not, forcing yourself won't help. Not going to lie, I extended mine as much as possible. It took a lot to go back but I am glad I done it on my terms as my body was screaming at me to leave!

      It's probably best going back on your own terms as it sounds like leaving might just fuel the anxiety further?

      That's probably the best description I could have. I do feel frozen and in limbo. I am not happy in my job but literally can't leave due to waiting for a mortgage to complete. Just looking at coping for another month or two!

      I find my anxiety is highest in the office. It's just an environment that triggers it. Forced to sit still while your body is telling you to get up and go. Do something, anything?!.

      I found camomile tea and passionflower supplements helped a lot. It works well to calm your nerves / busy mind and has no interactions with Propranolol that I have researched.

      Hope this helps.

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