Oh anxiety
Posted , 6 users are following.
Anxiety. Love hate relationship am I right?! It never leaves you alone so you have to learn how to deal with it. If it's not heart issues it's brain issues. If it's not that it's breathing issues. If it's not that then it's digestive issues. You can never win. Never. I thought I had it under control. My heart worries are gone. Then a month later some brain worries. If I had a brain tumor. Or a brain anuarysm. All of sudden I'm having digestive issues. Can I not win?. Guess I can't. Idk what to do honestly. I've been putting off taking meds because of the horrible side affects. But I think it's time. I was prescribed alprazolam. It's a type of xanax. Only supposed to take it as needed. I've been taking it in a healthy manner but much more often. So I was told when that happens to go see the doc. So might as well. I guess I just don't want to be on meds. Meds suck. Am I gonna be on them forever? I'm okay being on them forever as long as I can be normal. Cuz dang. This is not life. I cannot due anything. Seriously. It's taken over my life. I wanna be strong. But sometimes it's just to much. It gets overwhelming. I wanna wake up and have a normal day. I'm not even anxious anymore. But the symptoms are there. Is this ever gonna end. I often wonder why this happened to me. I was such a healthy outgoing person. I hiked, I ran, I played sports. Never went to the doctor before this. Never broke a bone. But I guess anxiety, stress, does not discriminate. It sucks. If I could only find a little bit of peace of mind. Something. I know i can beat this. But idk how or when. I just wanna be okay. I accept the fact that I have it. I accept that I now have to deal with this. But I cannot accept that I cannot be normal. I pray to God everyday to give me strength. To give me faith and that this one day it will pass. Some days I lose hope. Some days I have all the faith in the world. Some days it's just impossible to live with. I needed to get this out of my chest. It's not easy. I wish people around me understood that yeah I might be physically okay. That I might look okay and act okay. But inside I'm a hurricane. My mind is a blob. I'm just ready to burst. But they don't. And they don't have to. But it's okay. We will beat this someday.
1 like, 6 replies
Anxious_Nick Swaggdalu
Posted
Man, this hit me deep. So I've always been an axious person. But like 'normally' anxious. Some weird symptoms as a kid, maybe. But mostly fine. Then a month and a half ago I was stressed and bam -- I started getting chest pains and panic attacks. Ended up in ER and in my GP's office. Before I knew it I was being told to go see a therapist. And now this is all part of my life in a big way. After my heart stuff ended, I thought I had MS. Then I thought I had ALS. Then I thought I had cancer. Then for over two weeks I thought I had a stroke. Today I got something in my eye...an eyelash or something...and for the last 12 hours I've been shaking, just thinking I'll lose or scratch my eye. Every day something happens that functionally leaves me useless. My friends here at Uni don't really understand it...and I definitely feel alone. Now I'm leaving Uni in 10 days to fly halfway around the country to visit my parents, just because I need time to recover from all this. Now, none of this may sound comforting, but I just wanted to share with you that you're NOT alone. I'm only 21, and yet my mind is like "a blob" just like you. But we'll get through this, friend. Believe me. We'll be fine. I'm starting therapy soon. And hey, medicine doesn't have to be forever! You can take it until you're ready to stop. Nothing is set in stone. But we have to take it one step, and one day, at a time.
Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers. And don't be afraid of medicine. If it doesn't help, you can stop at any time...but if it does help, it may be just what you need to begin feeling better. I'm in the very same boat, friend. Take care...
Nicholas
Swaggdalu Anxious_Nick
Posted
Thanks man . I'm 22 and I'm gonna turn 23 and that is making me anxious lol. I feel you're pain as well. People tell me it's all in my head and I have the power to get out of this but only me. But they don't understand that if I had the power I would've gotten out of this a long time ago. It's hard. You are right. Time to see if meds help. Tired of living this way. I need to have my life back. Thanks for the kind words man. Glad to know I'm not alone or crazy. But sad you are going through this like many other peiple.
mark45877 Swaggdalu
Posted
Hi Mate sometimes you do need to get it off your chest. I know how you feel. My life changed 6 years ago with a panic attack out of the blue and a visit to the ER.
Since that time several ER visits and many,many visits to my GP undergoing a multitude of tests with no answers. I too go from one dire illness to another. It's not fair but as they say it's the hand we are dealt with.
I had a few good days than today out of the blue horrible anxiety.
Your post touched me. They say anxiety disorders are more common in females. It sort of makes me feel worse in that I should be stronger being a man if that makes sense?
All I know is I don't know anyone I disliked enough to wish this on. People that don't have it can't understand the hell it can be. I've only been on this forum for a few weeks I've never wrote anything in a forum. It's comforting to now that other people are going through similar symptoms.
I guess I can't believe anxiety can give such horrible feelings. I always feel that the Drs have missed something and I'm about to be struck down.
I try do avoid medication I take a bp tablet everyday. My BP can still go crazy when I'm stressed which is my main fear. I also carry an Ativan when absolutely necessary.
I wish you the best and again thanks for the heartfelt post.
Swaggdalu mark45877
Posted
Man anxiety has messed me up and turned my life upside down since February of this year. Heart problems. Brain problems. Digestive problems. All in my head. Supposedly. I'm on BP meds as well but I don't need them. I was put on them because at one point my BP was high Cuz I was living in constant fear and panic. Now my BP is always very normal. Anxiety is the worst. Like you said. I don't wish it on anyone.
lele22410 Swaggdalu
Posted
We will all beat this someday! It's terrible but with the help and support we can find some peace, it's honestly amazing isn't it? How we are 99% sure we're fine and it's just the anxiety yet we somehow still think we're not fine. 'There has to be something wrong with my brain there's too many symptoms proving there is! This is different from the last' when really they are just our anxiety symptoms. I am so guilty of this, hang in there! We're all battling for our life back together, meds are truly helping me at this point, it's all about finding the right one, if you want to be on them that is! If not there's plenty more ways to calm the soul, do you still go for hikes etc? Many say exercise is one of the best cures I'm still yet to try it though! Best of luck to you and you will be fine, you always are
x
alex0820 Swaggdalu
Posted
You're damn right we will beat this some day, starting today! This is what you do: make a list of every reason you have to feel grateful, every reason you have NOT to worry about your physical symptoms and every short term goal you have in your life. Include the people who want and need you to be strong.
Read it again and again and again until your symptoms subside for the time being as this always helped for me.
Your medication situation does need to get in check but for right now, you have everything in the world to live for and you are not alone by a long shot!
You're brave for putting it all out there! God bless and hope you do take my advice and be well
message me if anything