Oh No: Chronic Pain, Peripheral Myopathy and the journey to end 45 mg Mirtazapine

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Oh no. Today, I write as a woman who has battled through several years of mental illnesses, including inexplicable anorexia (I love cooking, spending 6 days a week, spending most my time reading recipes and grocery shopping), among several underlying ailments that have been so positively responsive to Remeron (Mitz). I've been on it 6 months. Started at 7.5 mg, got nothing, then 15 mg and effects were OK, at 30 mg started gaining weight, fast forward ended up on 45 mg about a month ago and I gained 20 pounds and was healthier than I'd ever been - save for feeling like I have had a serious flu for months now.

I am a better woman today, because of Mitz; so I am now both at a loss, and also, incredibly relieved to find that my chronic back pain, excruciating muscle pain, tension headaches, morning stiffness, and peripheral myopathy are all severely exacerbated symptoms of Mitz. I cannot wiggle toes in left foot: studies show no abnormalities on X-Ray, EMG, NCV, MRI, and blood checks out good on every test from K to auto-immune. I wake up and go to bed feeling like I've gotten beaten with a bat. Underlying Fibromyalgia (Fibro) noted - but looking to wean down, get off Mitz, and see that symptoms find relief. All this muscle pain from Mitz has put me on one chronic, several month long Fibro flare-up.

I can't trust doctors anymore. I didn't celebrate my birthday because GP and I thought I had a stress fracture in my foot (common side note of chronic anorexia) and wore a boot for 3 weeks. Doctors profile me "seeking opioids" when I have not had 1 prescription strength medication offered me in my life, because tests are normal. EMG & NCV were excruciating. I just need some real guidance here. 

I wake up in pain, go to sleep in pain, and no medical treatments help. (Ibuprofen does nothing, gabapentine, nothing; advil, nothing; cyclobenzaprene, nothing; anti-inflammatory glute shots, nothing; three shots of rum, super effective). Position at work stressed due to constant visits to ortho, chiro, ER, Urgent Care, Spine Pain Specialists, psychiatrists, neurologists...

It's going to be OK though! I have two sweet puppies and a wonderful SO. 

Thank you for your time


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