Older Women using HRT please HELP

First apologies for the length of this post.  Bare with me, but I really need help.  Ladies, I've really tried everything and am at the end of my rope.  So hoping some one out there might have a similiar story. I'm 60, and want to stop vaginal atrophy and have a somewhat normal sex life.  

I tried BCPs in my early 20s, and in perimenopause in early 40s.  Both times a total disaster.  I tired bioidentical estrogen/progesterone in perimenopause, it was even a worse disaster.  Got to menopause without anything.  Felt ok, no hot flashes, or huge problems.  But three years in, started painful sex, vaginal atrophy and dryness.  I was given vaginal Estrace.  By regular use, I felt great, better than I had in years.  More energy, and sleeping like a champ.  The only down side, horrible itching on scalp and my hair started falling out.  Only thing that helped was some progesterone cream.  Since that time, I have worked with some of the best "professionals" out there.  I've tried creams, pills, vaginal suppositores, patches etc.  Various combinations.  I started low and wernt slow.  For a year worked with a known professional, who charged $3,500 up front cash and guartanteed she could make this work.  NOPE, I felt absolutely crappy on estrogen patches, and the only time I felt half way normal was when I also had progesterone with it.  Finally gave up on her promises and left her practice.

So here it is, these hormones change how I look, my skin, hair and nails, my brain, how I sleep, YOU NAME IT!  But what I hate is that it's usually a bad thing.  Bad hair, bad nails, bad skin, bad feelings, bloating, weird sensations, feeling of fat growing on my legs and butt, etc.  Sometimes I think I am jinxed.  

Are there any other older women out there who have had bad reactions to HRT?  If so, can you please share your experience? Did you find anything that worked?  Or did you give up?  Anyone just back to no hormone therapy?   If so, how do you feel now?  Am I alone on this?   

I actually want to do hormone therapy.  I've personally bought into the theory that in the long run this will make us healthier and offset/avoid some of the effects of aging.  I've studied at nausium, paid dearly for (non) help, and done everything as suggested.  So what gives?   ANY ONE ELSE?

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