On 3rd yr post divorce.. I feel more sorrow as time goes..

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I am going on my third year post my divorce that I initiated.. At first I thought I felt alright with my decision but the more time goes by the more despair I feel about the choices I have made..

I was married 20 yrs, have 3 children.. Now 19 & 16. My ex has moved out of state & my daughter (16) because of circumstances move with him.. I rarely see my son (19). I feel like I have lost everything that meant anything in life and it was my choice.. I do have relationship with my children & I get to see my girl... Just not very often. I feel very down and alone. I live in our home that is full of memories which are a constant reminder of what I no longer have.. My family..

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Anitams,

    Loneliness is very unpleasant and whilst you may feel you made this life, perhaps it is better more than you realise imagine if you had of lived in an undesirable marriage would it be better or worse? I say sell the house and start a new journey find love again  your children are more resilent than you think! time to get your life happy rather than others xx

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  • Posted

    I don't know of the circumstances around your Divorce so can't comment.  What I can tell you is that many people who suffer depression blame their relationships and decide to end them, likewise they move from where they live and change jobs in the hope things will improve but the only thing that can improve their situations is the right medication and therapy.  All too often good relationships are lost through depression. 

    My ex husband to be wanted a Divorce, he wanted to live alone but is now with an alcoholic and self medicating with alcohol, as I loved him and respected his need for space I let him go to do what he wanted, our kids are totally ashamed of him.  Odd he wants a Divorce and is now asking where I am living and is not happy I met someone else, losing his family those who loved and respected him will be his loss.

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    • Posted

      Hi Jackie,

      I'm sorry that happened in your life, sadly I have heard similar stories ~ I hope your ex can get the help he needs to get healthy so that he can save the relationship with his children.

      My situation is different, but none the less my depression what I am trying to address so that I too can get healthy and make the most of my life from this point forward.

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    • Posted

      Thanks Anitams, I wouldn't mind if I had done something wrong he was bullied at work.  The problem is now he is with an alcoholic the only way is down he is drinking very heavily and his girlfriend gets so drunk she is regularly hospitalised.  Sadly both our kids are done with him, not for the want of trying but he has cut all of us off kids included, his sister and our friends.

      You will get through this Anitams, I have also been on the other side I had anxiety and agoraphobia for years but with the right meds and group therapy I am now well.

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    • Posted

      Thank you Jackie for your words of encouragement.  I would like you to be encouraged as well, knowing that sharing your experiences with others offers hope & encouragement to others suffering. 

      I truly hope that your children will someday get to reconcile with their father.  Life is short & family is precious.

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    • Posted

      The best therapy I ever had was group therapy, it made me realise I was not suffering alone and meeting others made me realise just how lucky I was.

      You are right it is both short and precious, I lost a cousin just over 2 years ago at the age of 45.  I too hope they will reconcile with their Dad but I fear it will all be too late.  Take care Anitams x

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