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On cocktail of meds and feel lost

Posted , 6 users are following.

rose02814
rose02814

Hi all- I wanted some advice. I have been suffering from CFS for over five years now. It took ages to diagnose and I am still finding it difficult. I am having a relapse and found my self on a new drug Citalopram because I can't sleep. Most often I find it difficult to manage everyday stress and feel low. The brain fog has massively affected my memory and concentration and affecting my work, which is making me feel insecure about my competency. I'm worried that because of my forgetfulness my colleagues will not take me seriously and judge my ability to get my work done. I was also hoping to reduce the meds that I'm taking but not now I'm on more meds than I expected. I'm on gabapantin, amytriptaline, citalopram and cocodamol. Over the years I have become largely dependent on my meds and feel stuck. I want to start a family but my reliance on my meds have led me to believe will I ever be ready before it is too late. My symptoms have worsened and is widespread. I have sore areas all over my body that radiates out wards. Stiff back with burning pain especially on the right hand side of my body. Feeling extreamly exhausted and tired, headaches, IBS  and many more. Even writing this naw is making me tired. Basically I am feeling crap and I'm not sure what I'm asking for in this post. 

Sorry. 

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • mazpaz
    mazpaz rose02814

    Posted

    Hi Rose

    I really sympathise with you and totally understand what you are saying. I am very much in a similar position. I'm not sleeping great either and am on the same meds as you except not the citalopram but I take cyclizine for nausea instead. I wanted to start a family but couldn't due to the cyclizine - am I now just over 40 and it's really too late now. It has been one of the hardest things I have had to face. That said I have had almost 15 years of being able to work full time so there is definitely a chance that you too could come out of this relapse. At the moment I am also really insecure about my competency at work - infact those were almost the words I used to my manager a few months back. Work was being piled on and I had a discussion with her one night to explain how concerned I was that I wasn't going to manange all the work I had. At that point she seemed very supportive and when I said I didn't want to go down the competency route she said it wouldn't come to that and that things could be done. The following week she piled even more on me and to cut a long story short, soon after I had a big relapse. 

    I have now been signed off for 3 months and am terrified that I won't have a job - so much so that I cried in the Occupational Health meeting - she stated there was no way I was fit for work and she was concerned I was depressed. I wasn't depressed but petrified that the longer I was off the less chance I have to get back. The result is that she won't yet declare me fit for work. 

    Of course, she was right - in that I'm not fit for work and the only way I will get fit again is to rest and stop worrying. It's hard but I do feel that things happen for a reason and for what ever reason (who knows what) I am not meant to be in work - I have actually been taken out of a very stressful and miserable situation so maybe there is a silver lining afterall!

    I suppose none of this rambling is really any help to you what so ever. I too don't know what I'm trying to say in this post except all you can do is take each day as it comes, be kind to yourself, try and except that you have an illness - that may not be as visible as other ones but are just as delibilitating. Finally in your work they have to make adjustments as part of the diability act. I'm currently going through this with Occupational Health and the adjustments she has suggested are fair and should help. 

    Sorry to ramble - sending big hugs

    Paz

    • rose02814
      rose02814 mazpaz

      Posted

      Thank you so much mazpas. Your post wasn't rambling. It helps that you are not alone and people in this forum do understand what you are going through. My employer has made reasonable adjustment and they could probably do more, however I do worry if I say too much it may work against me later on. I do hope you go back to work soon. But while you have some time off you can rest and re cooperate. 

      Xx

      Xx

    • mazpaz
      mazpaz rose02814

      Posted

      What adjustments were made? If you feel happy saying of course.

      XPaz

    • rose02814
      rose02814 mazpaz

      Posted

      Working from home, adjustments to the desk, chair, laptop trolly, keyboard etc.My work can vary from place to place so even with the adjustments it doesn't help much. Sometimes the laptop carry case is heavy to week around and can make things worse.  Have you discussed with your OT what could help when you get back to work?
    • mazpaz
      mazpaz rose02814

      Posted

      Yes - regular breaks, longer deadlines, no additional duties prep time that I can do at home in the middle of the week - things like that and a longer phased return than normal. I'm a teacher so it's a bit harder than a desk job. Try getting a trolley bag for your laptop for when you are not in front of clients - I aim to buy one for my books.

      Paz

    • rose02814
      rose02814 mazpaz

      Posted

      Yeah that makes sense. I have a trolly case but can be bulky and difficult to weel around in the underground x
  • alison44235
    alison44235 rose02814

    Posted

    I don't think I am going to be much help as I had allready had my children when i went down with M.E. I got a virus when i was two months pregnant and the baby did not sleep much for 4 and half years, I had three other children a husband who did not understand my postnatal depression and living where I hated all added up to my downfall this was 33 years ago. i am still struggling with this horrible desease and am so fed up with it. I just take one day at a time rest as much as possible and pace myself. The lack of undertanding from friends and family really gets me down. Why can't anybody try to understand. The only people who do are on this forum, ones who have it themselves.

    All the best with everything.

  • mitty999
    mitty999 rose02814

    Posted

    Hello Rose. I have diabetes as well as ME. At present am in bed all the time. I really do appreciate the effects and pain it can cause. I went off Citalipram and now on Duloxetine, which I find so much better . Trouble is as you indicate, you just don`t know which way to turn for the best. You have to rely on some medication, painkillers are important as I know , I cannot manage without. I do not want to call for an ambulance at every turn. There are better times of course. but generally as with you , things seem to get worse.

    I was suffering from ME and depression when we had our daughter. However I am just the dad, and my wife took the brunt of extra work..

    I can add little more than has been said, except to suggest you find one strong person (friend or family ) who does not treat you as a basket case and if they can help you on a daily basis, then there is one more pillar to support and help you.

    Keep a diary too for pain medication if nothing else. That is the way I got onto morphine as well as codeine, a godsend when I wake in awful pain.

    Best wishes....Mitty

  • bonpoole
    bonpoole rose02814

    Posted

    Citalopram, Amitryptalin, and Gabapenton are all antidepressants even though they are used for chronic pain. Gabapenton can have some nasty side effects and is difficult to come off of. I would advise that you get some advice from a pharmacist on how these 3 interact and whether you might be getting some interactions. CAN very difficult as many think of it as 'yuppie flu' Try to surround yourself with supportive people and medical personel. Good luck on your journey back to reasonable health xx
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