On Sertraline for around 3 years. Having Withdrawals.
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Hey everyone, I've been on Sertraline for around 3 years now as the title says for Anxiety, OCD, and Depression. I started the medication a short time after a very traumatic time in my life that started all of these issues. To make it short when I have my panic attacks they are caused by sudden dark violent thoughts that are completely out of character for me that I can't get out of my mind or unsee. This unsettles me very much and causes my panic attacks. After a panic attack I turn into a mess it is like my brain was a glass window and the panic attack was a brick thrown through it and the Sertraline is the glue I use to put it back together. I was started on 75mg and after a while it really started working. I felt normal again and could just be my regular self of course I did experience some side effects such as lowered emotional level and lower libido. Last year I went down to 50mg and had no negative affects and felt even better, since then I have been on my 50mg and have been just fine. Recently though I moved to a new state and didn't have health insurance until recently. Long story short I ran out of my meds for three days and relapsed into the dark thoughts out of nowhere and had a major panic attack. I was lucky and my local pharmacy gave me 6 pills to last until I could get to the doctor. After my last panic attack I have not felt like myself, I feel a constant anxiety, have lost all interest in things I enjoy, get nervous around people, have random mood swings, and struggle at work (I work at a call center doing customer service), and random moments of feeling aggression for no reason (None of these are like my usual self) I have also developed a strong desire to commit suicide because of how upsetting all of these feelings are to me and the feeling of not being in control of my own brain. I'm not sure what to do and am reaching out for any advice you all could give me. It has been 5 days since I my last panic attack and I got my meds back. (It was a three day absence of meds.)
1 like, 7 replies
Layacs
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Digsby Layacs
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I just wanted to send you a message of support as you have found yourself in such a dark place. I expect the short break from your meds, through no fault of your own, has just upset the chemical balance that your brain has grown used to. The effects have obviously been terrifying for you but I hope you are starting to feel yourself again with the return of your meds. The feeling of not being in control is horrible - it's like a battle with our own brain/body. However, try not to see yourself as the enemy within. Befriend yourself and be gentle. Take the space you need to recharge your emotional, mental and physical batteries.
You can look back on a long period where everything was good and life was more "normal". It sounds as if moving home was a big step for you and hopefully a positive one. I struggle with suicidal thoughts on a daily basis but my psychologist has taught me to see them for what they are: just thoughts, not realities. I can choose to dwell on them or let them drift away like clouds. Easier said than done when they are making you feel anxious. This is when our emotions can overwhelm us and dictate how we react to our thoughts. It takes effort and practice to master these emotions. Have you ever had counselling for your conditions?
Please stay positive and believe that you can and will return to the person you have been. You are still that same person, but you are on a journey of discovery and you've hit a road-block. It is not the immovable object that it seems though. Take one step at a time and you can move past the obstacle. Be gentle with yourself, giving yourself the same kindness, consideration and support that you would give to one of your customers :-)
Hang in there and let us know how you are getting on. All the best!
Digsby
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claire_53158 Digsby
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Digsby claire_53158
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All the best
Digsby
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Layacs Digsby
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Layacs
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Digsby Layacs
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Good luck & keep us posted.
Digsby