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One full YEAR

Posted , 5 users are following.

Itslife
Itslife

Today is the day I thought I my whole world came crumbling down for the second time. Today was the day I got my phone call confirming that I was positive for herpes-2. I thought my world was over. I was afraid to let the kids I worked with touch me everything. I was in so much pain that the slightest pee made me cringe and cry. I couldn’t sleep, stand,sit nothing. 

Then I had to tell my boyfriend about this whole thing. That was a tough one. He was supportive for about a week and a half and then flat out left me. Meanwhile I don’t even know if it was him that gave it to me. So I automatically thought great I have herpes and I just got dumped. How wonderful. 

Well this guy came into my life again after knowing I’ve been with the other guy. We hung out and he just came out and said doesn’t he have herpes. I said is not confirmed it’s a rumor why and he said well if he has it that means you have it. I’m like and if I did get it then what, he said absolutely nothing. I don’t care. That’s when my spirits came up. Only a little. 

I have had legit two outbreaks where I had legit sores and all. Any other time was just a tingle here or an itch there and I would take the medications just incase. If anyone is wondering the second outbreak does hurt. Maybe not as bad because you’re fimiliar with the pain but the pain is still there. 

Since it’s been a year I still get down about it. Have I accepted it? Yes to a point. I still get down about it and it still sometimes brings me to tears but I know I’m strong enough and enough support team to pull through. 

I’m starting to learn that it doesn’t define me as a person. I am still who I am and can still what every other woman or man out there can do who doesn’t have it. It doesn’t make me less pretty. I won’t lie it killed my self esteem and my self esteem was never high to begin with, but after being on this forum and others I’m beginning to love my self all over again. 

There’s a reason this was put in my life and it’s time to own it 💪🏻

3 likes, 18 replies

18 Replies

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  • m20751
    m20751 Itslife

    Posted

    Wow. That’s encouraging to hear. Do you take anything? 2 outbreaks in a whole year is great. 
    • Itslife
      Itslife m20751

      Posted

      I’m happy it’s encouraging what’s what I want to hear! I take valacyclovir one pill every 12 hours for three days when I get my outbreak. It doesn’t make the sores go away but it stops the virus from spreading 
  • sbbu15
    sbbu15 Itslife

    Posted

    This is beautiful and gives me hope. I have a few questions that are daunting to think of in my future and I’m wondering if you can answer them. How has it affected your sex life? Are you able to shave down there and not get an outbreak? I’ve read people have amazing sex lives but I’m so scared it won’t be the same, I’m scared of outbreaks from rough sex and I read shaving can cause outbreaks too. I shaved and got super paranoid I was going to have an outbreak. It’s been 3 weeks since my diagnosis and I’m staying strong but the future is daunting sad thanks for your wonderful post! 
    • Itslife
      Itslife sbbu15

      Posted

      You most certainly can have an active sex life. I made my boyfriend use condoms for minimum 6 months before I was okay without it. It’s what you are comfortable with and if whoever your with loves you they will be okay with it   I’ve had rough sex and nothing has happened. Shaving is actually a cause for my to have an outbreak. I no longer shave I buzz now and my boyfriend is totallly okay with it. To be completely honest at three weeks I couldn’t even say “I have herpes” now it’s much easier. Time will help. Keep your head! There’s millions of people out there who have it and who are supportive! 
    • lynne02592
      lynne02592 Itslife

      Posted

      Were your sores painfulful and did you always get them with an outbreak. Thanks again for sharing your story. So brave 
    • Itslife
      Itslife lynne02592

      Posted

      No you may not always get sores during an outbreak it depends. An Asymptomatic outbreak is when you shed so the virus is active in your body and can be transferred to your significant other. It’s confusing I did a lot of research on that because I didn’t understand it at all. To be completely honest I still don’t know if I ever shed. I had gotten bumps which is the begging of an outbreak before that turn into sores and i took the medicine and they never turned into anything. Yes for me every sore was painful. When I peed I knew where each sore was. The first initial outbreak was the absolute WORST
  • lynne02592
    lynne02592 Itslife

    Posted

    Yeah I don’t really understand the shedding or outbreak either but any little information definitely helps thank you !!! 
    • Itslife
      Itslife lynne02592

      Posted

      Shedding from what I’ve learned is it looks like dry skin almost where you hair is. There is multiple different reasons why you can have an outbreak. Diet, stress, shaving, foods. In a year I’m starting to realize that causes an outbreak. Shaving, if I drink execsssively in one day and sometimes maybe heat causes an outbreak for me. These are just what I realized when I got an outbreak. Definitely keep track of when you do get an outbreak. 

      I actually have a little notebook and I wrote down every system I ever had, what I did when I got an outbreak how long it lasted and so on. This helped me to learn my body 

    • m20751
      m20751 Itslife

      Posted

      Does your period trigger it? Mine has these last two months. 
    • lynne02592
      lynne02592 Itslife

      Posted

      I love the note book idea ! I’m still not sure if mine is herpes waiting for test results.  Only symptom I had was very minimum itching and white thick discharge.  So I did a Monistat one day thinking it was a yeast, once I applied topical it burnt like crazy so I examined my lady bits and saw red spots the next day they were still there but barely and by the next morning ( 36 hours late) completly gone. Spots didn’t hurt at all ! So we shall see ? They never scabed , never hurt  even if I used the restroom, never felt sick or anything. Doc said it was a reaction to the cream but we will see she didn’t see need for test but wanted to make sure it was an ulcer from herpes.  
    • Itslife
      Itslife m20751

      Posted

      You have gotten sores each month from your period? If so I would see your doctor and maybe put you on a certain medicine. I know there’s one you can take everyday and it minimizes your outbreaks which is called suppressive therapy.  My period does not trigger my outbreaks. I currently have my period now and I’m uncomfortable and get an itch here and there but I don’t get any actual sores. 
    • Itslife
      Itslife lynne02592

      Posted

      You may not have herpes then. Did you get a blood test or did she swab you? Most accurate way is getting swabbed whole you have something going on. I had the sores when I got swabbed and it felt like she was pinching me but all she was doing was poking. Either way keep me updated on what the outcome is!
  • lynne02592
    lynne02592 Itslife

    Posted

    Blood test and I definitely will thank you so much 
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