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One step forward two steps back

Posted , 5 users are following.

Aspinan
Aspinan

Hi all, just as I feel I'm starting to make progress something happens in my head like an intrusive thought and the anxiety kicks in big style and I'm starting to think I'm just slipping backwards, I've had a couple of good 'ish days where I've not needed to take a benzo, I tend to take only one when needed and when all other CBT strategies just don't work so on Wednesday my psych increased my dose of quietiapine to 200mg (I also take 20mg Brintellix as my AD) and am hoping it will start to have an effect.

Im looking for some hope and that light at the end of the tunnel but it's just not happening. Words of encouragement would be gratefully appreciated.

0 likes, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • k12714
    k12714 Aspinan

    Posted

    hi Aspinan, I've sent you private message hope it helps! x

  • Pipboy101
    Pipboy101 Aspinan

    Posted

    Hey aspinan, I'm going through the same type of anxiety. I feel like my good days are ok and my bad days are so bad. I just started a new med Clomipramine 25mg and I hope it starts working too! I've had this anxiety/depression before,about 5 yrs ago. I can tell you then it did pass. And I want to encourage you that yours will too. It's just something that will make you stronger!

    • Trina536
      Trina536 Pipboy101

      Posted

      Hi pipboy, just to let you know that I was on clomipramine for 32 years,and it worked wonders for me, it took quite a while before it worked but eventually it did and what a relief it was, at one point I was on 150mg, but eventually got to a maintenance dose of 75mg, I had months and months of no anxiety and if I had a blip my doctor would increase to 100mg for 1-2 months then back to 75 mg, although this drug is quite old it was absolutely brilliant for me, unfortunately I have got high blood pressure so have had to come off clomipramine, I hope you have the same experience with clomipramine as I did, good luck 😊

    • Pipboy101
      Pipboy101 Trina536

      Posted

      Trina can I ask if you had depression before starting this drug? I'm a bit low now

    • Aspinan
      Aspinan Trina536

      Posted

      Ive been on Clomipramine also the last time I relapsed and feel I want to give it another go, was taken off it for a new one Brintellix as my mood had slipped, it's a tricyclic anti depressant. 

    • Trina536
      Trina536 Pipboy101

      Posted

      Yes it did I was diagnosed with agitated depression and anxiety, the thing is that when you have had a few good days, you don't realise it till you feel down again, then feel like your going backwards,it's all part of recovery,two steps forward, one step back, until eventually you feel back to normal , it's a long slow process but you will get better, when I was first diagnosed I thought I was going mad, I was all over the place, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't keep still, my thoughts frightened me, I couldn't see how I was going to get better, but I did with clomipramine, when I stopped taking them I was put on sertraline and propanolol but they didn't work, I am now on venlafaxine and propanolol, I am feeling better than I was but I still have anxiety, I so wish I could still take clomipramine, but I can't, it was a psychologist that asked my doctor to put me on them, I know exactly how you feel, I have been there ,and there is light at the end of the tunnel, you will have down days, but when you find the correct dose for you then you will start to feel better without realising it and before you know if you will start to enjoy things again, keep me posted on your recovery 😊

    • Aspinan
      Aspinan Trina536

      Posted

      Thanks Trina, I'm gonna give the increase in quietiapine 2 weeks then I'm seeing my psychiatrist and if I don't feel I'm heading in the right direction I'm going for another increase and perhaps back clamipramine.

  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 Aspinan

    Posted

    Having anxiety is not a set back,its life. Having oanic attacks is not a setback its a disorder. so not setbacks. It is all going to come down to how you cope with the anxiety or panic attacks. Most of the time hopefully you can use cbt, dbt , self calming stuff but honestly there are times like you said..nothing works. The xanax moment, you are doing all you can do at this time so i wouldnt aay thats a setback at al.l. Its figuring it out. Maybe learning a little more, adding in a new technique. We are humans here. You have to remember that. We are existing with a disorder and it seems it doesnt reset completely forver, maybe ine day it will with the help of science,

    i inow when a panic attacks happens or cycles it is frustrating and the fear of revertting back to square one exists, but it doesnt stay that way because you know better now. 

    The light at the end of tunnel is loving yourself u conditionally and teustuping the process of life. Sometimes you can walk tall and forge thru it all and somwtimes you have to tio toe or tale baby steps..both are fine as needed. Pat yourself on the back this isnt an easy journey.

    everytime you have a cycle of panic or anxiety you dont need to increase meds. You need to allow it to eun its course and continue using the skills and techniques in between. It oasses. The attack pass, the thoughts pass. You are expecting it all to dissapear and well it doesnt, and its ok to feel it too as long as you dont fear it.

    a long time ago i feared it all. Somewhere along the way I learned with or more meds it passes anyway. Mindset. 

    It wasnt a setback and i hope i explained that. This is something you have to accept as is along with the therapy and keds you are on. This disorder has good days and bad days like everything else. It sucks and its rough at times but until there is a cure or reset try to still unconditionally accept and love yourself as is. 

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