Orgasam's after surgery

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I had my op cyctocle and rectocele repair in January this year, I was warned that sex would be painfull to start and to wait at least 6 weeks, so we did, 10 months on and i still have not had an orgasam, as well as no sensation down there I have the same problems as beofre so I was referred back to gynaecology and was seen today, it was very upsetting the registra I saw said it could be possible that nerves were damaged during the operation and she went to speak to the consultant that had done the surgery, she came back after speaking with the consultant and told me that not having an orgasam was nothing to do with the operation and they could refer me back to my GP to be referred for therapy. I told them my sex life before the operation was perfect in every way now after the operation there is no sensation at all, I was then asked if there was any problems with my partner with that I said NO put my coat on told the registra it has not been the same since the operation being numb is not normal then I walked out.

they are trying to pass the buck it was the operation that has damaged me and I want women to be told of the posibilty of nerve damage before they have an operation, if I was told of this I would not have had it done, I had a great sex life before the operation. 

Is there anyone else out there that this has happened to?

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh my goodness, what a dreadful thing to happen to you but do you know it really dosen't surprise me.

     I am 9wks post  op for rectocele repair & can't even imagine having sex! I am still in pain & taking painkillers every day!

    I am due to see my consultant next week so it will be interesting to see what he says but I don't think they're really bothered, they make you feel as if they've done you a favour!

    I was expecting to be somewhere near normal by now but I'm struggling to imagine feeling like I did before the op! I can't walk very far & when I do it's quite steady. I really don't think the op has worked...watch this space!

    I do hope you are able to get some help, keep in touch. Sending hugs x

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  • Posted

    Hi ...... sending you hugs. I just had today posterior and anterior repair plus sacropinious fixation so too early for me to comment post op. However I lost sensation and ability to orgasm too when the cystocele and rectocele appeared.... level 2. I found that the Vagifem and Estradiol cream I was prescribed for the vaginal atrophy helped with plumping up the skin down there and helped with the libido a bit. I can also recommend the Kegel 8 ultra which can check your sensation levels  and there are a range of programs to use to improve pelvic tone, stimulate the nerve endings and I found it helpful it getting sensation back pre op. Also Elvie device and app was good to check I was doing exercises right. A combination of all of this got me having orgasms again although I wasn't comfortable with penetration. My lady gynaecologist warmed me that G spot orgasms probably would be difficult to achieve 😠 And to concentrate on clitoral orgasms. I did tell the urogynaecologist , a man, that prior to prolapse I had a fully functioning G spot and would it 'return' after the surgery..... he said no one had asked him before...... he said that it might be in a different place after the surgery! Clearly as I only had the surgery this afternoon I can't say what my outcome will be but I will all being well at 6 weeks use The Kegel 8 ultra to build up my sensation and tone down there.... probably shared tmi because of meds post op but our sex lives and orgasms are important to our our wellbeing, relationships etc. I wish you well and hope you are able to get the support you need to get everything working down there. Please let us know how to get on, I have had the op for lots of reasons including returning to a satisfying sex life. I am 57, late start to peri menopause and hope that I can in a few months start to enjoy sex again. Take care.

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    • Posted

      what is an elvie device and app/ also the Kegel 8 ultra that you mention?

      of course our sex life is important to us. If you read my original posting the gynae wanted to sew up my vagina completely to stop further prolapse which would mean no sexual intercourse ever again. I am 61, and I started crying, she showed no emotion just said I should discuss it with my husband and come back and see her again. I dont think I will be though.

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    • Posted

      Hi Rodeojo, my reply to your question was deleted by moderator, not sure why. kegel8 ultra is like tens machine, you can find out more about it on stressnomore  or Kegel8 website, works the muscles for you. Elvie is a device you insert which works with an app and you squeeze the muscles to various guided exercises and provides feedback on how you are doing. Both  helped me get sensation back and ensure I was doing the pelvic lifts and hold correctly. See Elvie website for more info. My physio and gynae were aware and supportive. Both devices are expensive though. Hope this helps. 
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  • Posted

    So sorry to hear about the results of your surgery.  I am so glad I found this site to investigate further before I agree to any operation!! If your nerves have been touched it may take time for them to be functional again. I agree with Redhead1960 that you need to get some physio help with exercises down there. It is unbelievable how uncaring the surgeons are regarding our sex lives after op. I am wondering if it is better to have a laparoscopic approach type surgery rather than vaginal. Has anyone had this?

    Keep updating us about your recovery and so hoping things improve for you overtime.

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  • Posted

    Hi, No more org,

    I must admit that I have had the opposite effect.

    I am far more sensitive and had put that down to the walls being pulled up tight exposing more of my clitoris which I think was hidden more before by what I think they call a hood. But I also have what I think is tight thin bit's if tissue, two at front and one at back where it gets very nippy and uncomfortable especislly once I have been on my feet for a little while which tightens or stiffens up after I sit down and attempt to move around again. I think it is more to do with ligament damage or damaged nerves and has robbed me of a normal life after work. I spend much of my time trying to recover after work and family life is suffering. I feel like I am being robbed of any quality if life.

    I swing between feeling a bit better and trying to build up some quality if life and attempting to stay reasonably fit and healthy while other times, like after my shifts I need to rest till swelling goes down and sagging pain subsides.

    Last time I overdone things at work if took me 4 weeks to recover and although much better now I still don't feel completely recovered.

    Take care x

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    • Posted

      How long had it been since your surgery? I’m still trying to get a feel on what to expect post op. I’m 5 weeks post op and walk slow as molasses, painful to sit, with 6 week Check due Oct 27. No way I can return to work Oct 30 at this point. I had no idea it was going to be such a struggle to get better. 
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    • Posted

      Hi Dlee,

      I am now I'm about 19 an half months post op now.

      Initially my post op recovery went really well but once back at work didn't get the proper support from occupational health.

      My work colleges did their best under difficult circumstances; they don't really have any low impact duties, I went back as I still have dependent teenager and let's face it even though I've looked for alternative low impact work who is going to employ someone who has had 2 seperate prlvic floor repair surgeries who would need trained.

      They don't explain to us that this is major surgery or just how important of for how long we will have to rest and literally do nothing in the early weeks to ensure successful repair. They also need to be explicit that the reason we need the surgery is that we now have a weakened pelvic floor and although they pin up the walls of will still be weak and that we will always be restricted in shaft we can do if we want our repairs to last the possible 10 years (more or less).

      Please take cars and be especially careful as my sister said to me ' it's your health for the rest of your life, what is few months of rest in comparison ' , don't be pushed of bullied into going back to work too soon.

      It can take months for deep tissues to heal and everytime you get up and walk your pelvic floor has to take the weight of your pelvic organs, and if your lift anything (even things that were lightweight before) that puts evenmore down pressure on your healing tissues.

      Listen to your body and take your time with any progress.

      Phyl x

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