Overactive bladder

I forgot to mention that the dr said surgery would fix the prolapsed bladder but not t the overactive

Ouch! "...the minute i get up, i have to go", I can totally relate, every time it's like a scary lottery!

I've mixed incontinence (stress and urge incontinence, few drops to complete bladder loss). As you I tried several remedies, something just made things better but nothing really worked stopping all the accidents.

If you look online you will see every doctor telling nowadays there's always a cure for incontinence, but at the same time according to statistics 1 in 3 women over age 18 have some incontinence, and the percentage increase with age, almost 1 in 2 women over age 45. So something is not right!

Of many doctors I met, only someone told me the truth, that it will be hard to find a definitive solution for me. I mean the best thing we can do is always look for new solution and at least for something that improves our problem but we should consider the option we will have to deal with it. Especially if you have a mix of causes as me, then it's hard to find a totally working solution, at least not only one that solves everything but maybe a mix of cures.

Just consider PTNS, botox, pessary, interslim are all temporary solution, working for some month or even only weeks. I tried the first three ones and they were just only a small help, no so much difference if at the end I still need to wear always a full absorbent protection because unexpected full loss can still happen at anytime. A surgery is the only long term solution but it works only for specific cases and mainly when there is only a cause. I'm sorry to say this but if your doctor suggested a TVT surgery for the prolapsed bladder be careful, I've read so many post about people having many problems after that (look for #SlingtheMesh on Twitter).

I don't want to sound pessimistic and I really would like to help you, if it's not a big issue for you just give everything a try, these cures work in different way on different people, but since you wrote "Im at my wits end. This is really getting to me." please try to see this problem less problematic. It's not the end of the world and it's not a real drama. Believe me, I had some incontinence since birth, so for many years, and I can assure you can still have your happy life. The best tip I can give you is to still look for a cure and in the meantime be as much positive as you can, if you need support in this or even just only to vent I'm here, drop me a message if you need. There should be zero shame about it, it's a so common problem, look for the best absorbent protection that surely can hold the worst accident you had in the past, that lets you having a total peace of mind and to go on with your happy life. I know wearing a pull-up or even a regular adult diaper 24/7 is annoying and nobody would do that but since I accepted this I'm back to my normal life and it's totally worth it. Thankfully nowadays there are so many comfortable protections that you quickly forget of wearing them.

You didn't mention kegel exercises, have you tried them? I know it's still not a full solution but it cost nothing and can make everything much better. Paradoxically not having the ability to hold urine makes our bladder weaker and weaker, so kegels can be a big help.

I wish you to find a solution and all the best.