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I'm just in need of some support. I have been so out of control today that I have left the room 5 times to go and calm down when my kids have been acting out. Or...were they acting out? I feel I'm overreacting to things I would normally just brush off. I've had bad tremors/vibrations (or what to call it when the hands and feet shake...I feel it through my entire body) today, I've felt a couple of times as if I've been hit in the heart and I just feel anxious, sad and miserable. Really sad.
I got my latest blood results yesterday and they showed that the medication of 30mg carbimazole/day was not working so my dose is up to 40 mg. In a sense I was relieved to hear it because it meant I was not imagining still having all the symptoms. But it also worries me a lot, maybe my worrying is what is throwing me so extra out of balance today.
I have done a lot to reduce stress, I've even cut down my working hours. But I do have a home to run and two boys aged 2 and 5. The homekeeping does not stress me that much as I handle dustbunnies, and toys everywhere and a stack of unfolded laundry quite well. Just normal things that will be vaacumed, picked up and folded... But when my kids argue, play really loud or do the opposite of what I am asking them - it drives me crazy in a split second. So, I find myself starting to yell at them and that's when I just leave the room. I seem to have lost the capacity of talking them through things, now I just yell immediately. This is making me tremendously sad and today I've felt powerless against this disease.
Thanks for letting me get this out there. I just needed to tell someone who might understand.
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