Posted , 4 users are following.


Not used to forums but need some advice!

I've suffered with depression in the past but had it under control without medication for over a year now. I'm in a predicament and can't stop myself overthinking and over analysing everything!

The thing (I think) has kicked it off is I found out my dad is having an affair and I don't know if I should have it out with him or not? It's causing me to doubt my own relationship and since being in bad relationships previously I don't know if it's that or the situation with my dad or what! My head is a mess and I need a solution. Any help or advice would be welcomed!

1 like, 5 replies

Report / Delete

5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi jemma.. Heart goes out to you hun.. Well done for conquering your depression without meds.. You have a strong sense of will obviously..  It would be very hard to switch off with your concerns about your dad and finding out that he is having an affair would be a huge shock for any daughter.. PLEASE try not to overthink as nothing is resolved when confusion is involved.. TRY TRY TRY not to add your relationship doubts along with your dads ok..  Are you able to speak with dad openly?
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Hi Deb

      Thanks for your response

      I have a very close relationship with my dad but the situation is difficult as we run a business together and she is an employee. He doesn't know I know about them and I don't want to cause a family war. It's not the first time this has happened, he did the same things years ago and it caused so much pain and heartache to my mum and my brother and sister and it got so messy and so I'm scared of a repeat of that. I also feel like I'm lying to my mum all the time and find it difficult to spend time with her. I have a feeling she has an idea about it but she herself is in denial and doesn't want a repeat of the past. I feel it's making my depression and anxiety worse by keeping it in but and I am contemplating returning to anti-depressants but when I was put on them last time they made me 100x worse so I feel trapped at the moment and don't know what the best plan of action is! I lie awake at night and my thoughts start of about the affair and then my mind wonders and I think what if my boyfriend is having one or what if I start ruining things with him and what if this and that. I know it's irrational thinking but I can't stop it! I wish there was a switch I could turn off!

      Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      Oh sweet girl,  you have more than enough to cope with.  It would be so much pressure on you if you carried the loaded burden of your mum, brother & sister, not forgetting your dad & the employee.. Where does that leave you hun?  Thats my greatest concern.  Sure meds can help in a recovery plan, though Im sceptical about using them as a bandaid & I doubt if they will blanket out the problem..  Is it possible for you to access counselling so they can help mentor you through this mess sweetone?  

      Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    You must be close to your Dad then as most daughters are.  I should leave your dad to make his mistakes and concentrate on running your own life. You are not his mistress and cannot control his behaviour.  Just work on your own game plan and enjoy your life.
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    If I were you I would simply tell your dad that he must tell your mother, or you will do it. He has put you in a very awkward spot. Yes it will be very painful and vey sad for your mother. But at least you could then be there for her. Right now you cannot.

    Don't go back on drugs. Sadness in response to a sad event is a normal human emotion. Take action, stay busy, exercise and eat right.

    You can get through this, and so can your mum.

    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up