Pain during sex not going away

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Me and my partner started having sex some months ago. We both were virgins then. We were never able to do it without her complaining about pain whenever I start inserting my penis. The moment I try to insert (after some foreplay and lubricant of course) , she tries to stop me and lock me with her legs. After couple of months, I was able to get a 'quarter' of my penis inside her. But she still is in pain. She is thin and only 1.3 meters tall. Is it because of her stature that we have trouble penetrating? I can only penetrate like 2.5 inches. No further. Is it her natural vaginal length? I really need some advice?

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi frankdrebin

    This must be frustrating for both of you.

    I have two thoughts:

    It would be worth your girlfriend getting a doctor to examine her to check there are no abnormalities up there. It's unlikely that there will be but it would put both your minds at rest.

    Secondly, I had a somewhat similar problem with a previous girlfriend. She had only had one previous boyfriend and had dumped him because he hurt her during sex and wasn't sympathetic about it.

    After some trial and error I found that she needed much more foreplay than any previous girlfriend. Once I realised this and took a real long time over it she became more comfortable. After that the more we did the easier it got.

    It may be that your girlfriend is also slow to warm up, so what ever you are doing for foreplay, try doing twice as much for twice as long. It might just help and it's fun anyway.

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    • Posted

      I think she is never in the right mood to have sex. How long must the foreplay last? We do it for 15 min approx. And use gel too. I Can only enter half the length of my penis. Maybe it's because she is not that tall. She is only 1.3 meters tall.

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    • Posted

      She is short. It could be a factor particularly if your penis is on the large side, but I feel like that doesn't account for most of this problem.

      When a girl is fully aroused the inside of her vagina doesn't just lubricate but opens up and gets deeper. You cant see this but you can feel it with a finger inside.

      15 minutes foreplay is about right for most girls most of the time. I can sense the impatience in you and that's understandable. Even so its worth trying longer foreplay. The girl I mentioned before had problems until I spent more time on it.

      The trouble is that she's now expecting pain so it's harder for her to get turned on. Once she has a good experience, even once, she probably wont need so long next time.


      A glass of wine might help her relax

      A massage with some nice smelling massage oil would help her get in the mood.

      When it comes to the sex try positions that are naturally shallow. Her lying flat face down with you on top is a good one.

      You need the patience of a saint but its important to remain kind and patient with her. It's nobodies fault.

      Good luck

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