pain in pelvis/very low abdomen when urinating and takes forever to pee

Hi, my first thought in reading about your symptoms is Pelvic Floor Dysfunction. You may want to look it up and see if those are the symptoms you're having. I know if your pelvic floor muscles are too tight, you can have symptoms such as painful urination, difficulty starting and maintaining a urine stream, and pain in the pelvis and lower back.

First things first.   You are doing the right thing in going to the Doctors.  Secondly, I had very similar symptoms to you last year and, perhaps I can give you some hope that you can return to normal.  I think your body reacts in a very strange way to stress. and sometimes you have no control over it.    Sometimes I went to the toilet frequently and other times I felt I couldn't go and my muscles were very tense.  I got tested for UTI which came back normal. I had pressure on my bladder and was given overactive bladder medicine but that didn't help me.   I was given blood test to check that the pains in side, front and back flanks werent being caused by my kidneys.   This came back clear.  Ultrasound to check I was eliminating urine and look inside. This too was fine - apart from finding a large fibroid that I didn't know had.   I used to sit on toilet and nothing would come out.   I could feel pain in my bladder area.  I didn't take a cystoscope.    I looked at everything on internet and (as Middlechild also mentioned) I had some symptoms of interstitial cystitis.    We are all different but I followed other people's advice and it definitely helped me.

I took a probiotic,  a fish oil supplement and some turmeric.   I changed to a very bland diet (not sure if this would help you, I felt I had a very raw sore inside bladder) I did pelvic relaxation muscles.   I took alkaline drinks that make you go to toilet e.g. a small piece of crushed ginger in a mug of hot water, lemon in water, nettle tea, marshmallow tea.   When sitting on toilet tell yourself you can go and blow air out your mouth as it is harder to tense your bladder muscles when doing this.   The more you stress the harder it is to go.  Try not to force it.

Am I cured?  No, not 100% but I am 90% better and i'm not in pain.  Whenever i'm stressed my problem returns  but I know how to handle it.   If I need the toilet more often so what.   If I can't go I do what I said above.   Good luck.  I wish there was a quick cure but I doubt anyone could give you that.  Even writing this reply has made me tense my bladder muscles involuntarily as I am remembering my problem.  When I am busy and happy my symptoms are much less if at all.   There is a high possibility your problems have been brought on by the stress of losing your father and, hopefully, time will help you. Good luck at Doctors.   It is best to have the tests to see if there is anything they can treat.  (sorry this is so long but hope it helps other people have similar symptoms)