Pain of moving away

Posted , 4 users are following.

Hi, recently moved to a new area in same city, felt ok for a few weeks now feel dreadful, like it's lost all shine and am just sinking beneath it all.  The place needs much more done than I thought and it is so silent and dark, I feel much more alone than before when I had chattery neighbours in a busy block of flats with children in each flat coming and going.  Here, I feel paranoid when I go outside as if the local people are staring at me and wondering who I am and it feels threatening.  I also feel like my worst nightmare, a snob, because they seem a bit harder than the people in the other area and am not comfortable walking around.  I've been told not to wonder about at night so this didn't make me feel too great either!  I could have gone around the previous area and been safe and sound, no worry at all.  So I suppose the regrets are really settling in and I am feeling much more isolated than ever.  My experience of depression is one that has been on and off over many years, pretty much since I was in my late teens when I had a kind of psychotic experience and then a long period of anxiety, depression feelings of failure and paranoia. I am scared this will come back as it was triggered by major life moves of going to university. Anyway.  If anyone has some kind words or guidance that would be lovely, if you want to be unkind or tell me that am lucky to be alive and snap out of it, please don't.  I have so much to do but feel like have come to a standstill and can't see the wood for the trees.  I have made lists and stuff but now the lists feel too much.  Help.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi,

    sorry you are having a crap time in your new location. Do you think your thoughts of how dangerous your neighboorhood are real issues? if they are maybe you should move and find a place where u can be happy.

    I am not saying run away from your problems, but perhaps it really isnt a good place for you to be?

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    • Posted

      Thanks anon85986, ur kind to reply, wish now that was possible to leave but I've made a long term commitment to the flat. I did think it through but didn't bargain on feeling this homesick. Seriously I can drive to visit my previous community in 20 minutes and I do go there to do some things as it'swhere I know best and I've friends there but it feels sad to leave after and not call it home. I expect the area am in now isn't so bad but it just feels threatening to me. Am used to more diverse cultures in my local community. Take care, thanks

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  • Posted

    Have you knocked on your neighbours doors and said hello ? Or you could wander out to the shops at night but only take a small amount of money, walk with your head up and look all around you , if someone looks at you smile and say hello. You don't need to be so afraid, imagine the worst that could happen is you lose some money, it seems at the moment you are losing a lot more. I'm sure although they may seem harder they are just like you and I ( but maybe not diagnosed with depression) get out bit by bit I know you can do it and probably find its a nice area, just different

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  • Posted

    Hi g98343 - sorry to read of your dilemma, and yes, I think we all know that feeling when people tell us to "snap out of it," or "you'll get over it," or "but what about all the people that can't walk? You've still got your legs! be grateful, for Gods sake." If only they knew the pain they cause as we use those legs to get away from them!

    My suggestion for your dilemma is this: Have you had a flatwarming party? You state that you are only 20 mins from your old location, so you can invite a couple of good people that you know from there as well as a handful of your new neighbours. This will break the ice, and before you know you will find things in common that you wouldn't have expected. You are feeling alone and eveyone seems threatening because they are simply strangers. And a stranger is a friend we haven't met yet. You are making an adjustment so it will take time. Quell those impatient expectations, they are just teething problems. I bet in a couple of months the sun will come out and you and your neighbours will be exchanging pleasantries and cups of sugar, legas and all!

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