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Hi, recently moved to a new area in same city, felt ok for a few weeks now feel dreadful, like it's lost all shine and am just sinking beneath it all. The place needs much more done than I thought and it is so silent and dark, I feel much more alone than before when I had chattery neighbours in a busy block of flats with children in each flat coming and going. Here, I feel paranoid when I go outside as if the local people are staring at me and wondering who I am and it feels threatening. I also feel like my worst nightmare, a snob, because they seem a bit harder than the people in the other area and am not comfortable walking around. I've been told not to wonder about at night so this didn't make me feel too great either! I could have gone around the previous area and been safe and sound, no worry at all. So I suppose the regrets are really settling in and I am feeling much more isolated than ever. My experience of depression is one that has been on and off over many years, pretty much since I was in my late teens when I had a kind of psychotic experience and then a long period of anxiety, depression feelings of failure and paranoia. I am scared this will come back as it was triggered by major life moves of going to university. Anyway. If anyone has some kind words or guidance that would be lovely, if you want to be unkind or tell me that am lucky to be alive and snap out of it, please don't. I have so much to do but feel like have come to a standstill and can't see the wood for the trees. I have made lists and stuff but now the lists feel too much. Help.
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