Painful bladder syndrome!!! I can't take it anymore!!

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Hi everyone,

I'm currently 33 and since 16 I've had reoccurring uti's! about 5years ago they finally went to see a gynecologist and had my bladder stretched and filled etc. i then got a treatment of instilling done where they sprayed my bladder for 6months, which i did feel like it helped buy due to covid i never got to go back for another round and find it so exhausting with the doctors. Ive also been given antibiotics that i should take everyday but honestly scares me to be on antibiotics for life so i tend to take prior or after sex. Ive currently been getting get them so much and cant deal with the pain and just going round and round with doctors, so honestly ive gave up and just take my antibotics but it is destroying my life, i cant leave the house with the pain, wetting myself and sleepless nights. How am i ever going to live a normal life and when i do meet someone again, sex just frightening to me as the next day im in agony and no one understands it other than me. After all these years its mentally draining and destroying me!!!! Is anyone else in this situation and any advice on how to cope or any new treatments??? i would really appreciate anything

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