Painful Intercourse!

Posted , 6 users are following.

Hi ladies well I’m 53 and not enjoying the meno journey one little bit! The ups and downs and aches and pains try the patience of a saint but crumbs I am so stumped now.

I’ve been struggling with painful intercourse for around 18 months now and it’s got so bad we haven’t slept together since Christmas. My hubby is so very patient but I’m at my wits end.

I’ve had all sorts of medical tests and all ok but intercourse feels like my hubby is wearing a condom made it tin foil!! Grrr!!!

Everyone thinks it’s because of vaginal dryness but it isn’t it’s just pure pain for the first 2 inches or so inside me.

The doc prescribed insertable tablets of her which have eased it about 5% but it’s still awful.

Can anyone help me? I’m going to try a wellwoman clinic I think?. It’s £250 for an appointment but maybe they can help me with more specialised doctors etc?

Many thanks for any help xxx

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17 Replies

  • Posted

    Louise, I feel your pain - literally. 

    I found coconut oil really good but beware, after a time it now irritates me so I can’t use it.  So maybe just use it for the ‘special’ occasions and perhaps not everyday as I did.

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  • Posted

    Hi

     I’m sorry your going thru this it’s almost like a cruel joke peri/menopause have you tried lube as well? There are many on the market some are water based and some are silicone based you would have to figure out which one you would like both are good for me!!! Let me know if you do use lube? And I wonder if you have vaginal atrophy and that is causing more pain? 

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    • Posted

      Mmm yes we tried KY jelly but it’s not luvrication that’s the issue really. It’s the sharp sharp pain. I need to find out about atrophy. Bit concerned about googling but I’ll give it a go. Thanks so much for your help 
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    • Posted

      I just googled atrophy and it seems to suggest dryness and thinning of vaginal walls. As I said dryness isn’t really an issue at all but thinning of the walls could be? 

      I’ll get back to the docs and discuss it further.

      Maybe they have an anelgesic cream I can use to reduce the pain?

      Many thanks xx

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  • Posted

    Yes coconut oil is really lubricating.  

    You may need a hormone cream to insert to help with the internal pain though. 

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    • Posted

      Ok I’ll see if I can get some hormonal cream from the doctor. I’ve been using small inserted tablets once a week but they don’t seem to be doing much. 

      Thanks for helping. it’s such a frustrating problem and coupled with a drop in libido anyway this pain really doesn’t help matters.

      Hope ur ok though?

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  • Posted

    Have you tried extract estridol cream? It’s estrogen based. Again, loss of hormones. Works like a charm for me. But since I’ve bern on bioidentical HRT cream that I rub onto my low belly, fir Ibs issues and hot flashes,  it’s  fixed my vaginal dryness and pain issue even better. Still use astroglide, thick gel, just for perfection.  Then I use refresh over the counter cream fur after sex, to keep everything nice and moist. So happy! Hope you look into these things!! Saved my sex life and hubby so happy! Be well!
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  • Posted

    Hi louise25018,

    What you describe sounds like the beginnings of vaginal atrophy. Not many doctors even know how to diagnose it. They seem to look and say, all is well down there when so many women are in miserable pain. The cause of this is simple, lack of estrogen down below. Your tissues are thinning and if left untreated will probably get worse not better. You can use different things to help relieve the discomfort like coconut oil, but what those tissues need is estrogen. I have been in menopause for three years. Within the first three months of periods ending I lost most of my lubrication and the beginning of uncomfortable sex started. I have been on bio identical estrodial and estriol ever since, called bi-est cream. I use it daily on the outside of my vagina and they also have a compounded estriol cream that is inserted as needed. Before long you should feel plumpness coming back to your lady parts and discomfort a thing of the past if you can get the right doc that knows what their doing. Remember, it is the lack of estrogen, without replacing this estrogen it will likely not get better. It is something you will have to maintain from here on out because if you quit replenishing the estrogen the symptoms will come back because your body is just never going to make enough of it anymore to keep these areas healthy. Some women get so bad with atrophy they find it hard to sit down. Something you should try to nip in the bud early. I have had no issues with intimacy now.  No soreness, no lubrication issues, etc. You are still to young to not be having a comfortable sex life if you so desire. BTW, I am 58,  Good luck.

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    • Posted

      Hiya! Thankyou so much for your detailed reply it is really informative and has reduced my anxiety a lot.

      I’ll go to the wellwoman clinic and see if I can get this. 

      The pain is really bad and as you say I need to sort it before it gets worse.

      Thanks again and hope you are ok too? Xxx

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  • Posted

    Hi Jude

    i tried a bio cream that you rub in to your thigh but it made me instantly so nauseous, I had to stop using it.

    any side effects with yours? I like the idea of a cream to apply direct down below to help.

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    • Posted

      Hi Yellow88,

      Curious as to the kind of bio cream you had and if you got it through a doctor? All my creams are made through a compounding pharmacy prescribed by my doctor. I'm surprised you say you rubbed it on your thigh because transdermal creams are typically rubbed on high capillary areas such as on the underside of arms, behind knees, palms of hands, bottom of feet, face, neck, chest unless you have a vaginal cream that is rubbed on the labia. I have never had any side effects from my creams. I am on a 50/50 mix of estrodial and estriol. I also have testosterone cream and use progesterone cream as well to protect my uterus. I have to tell you my doctor has played a big role in testing and started my off low and increase on symptoms and lab results. Might ask your doctor about a low dose vaginal cream and increase as needed. Each increase I had was after 12-16 weeks or more and with labs confirming I was still low. I think issues can arise when doctors start women off on a "standard" dose and its just too much to start with. This kind of one size fits all approach doesn't seem to produce good results for the woman. I is why I strongly recommend taking the time to find a good versed doctor that knows their stuff in the hormone department. They are out there. A call to a compounding pharmacy can guide you to find doctors. Compounded creams are specifically made for you. The creams applied to the labia are really the way to go. It makes sense because you are getting those hormone directly absorbed through the route where they are naturally produced (ovaries ) and carried throughout your body. 

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  • Posted

    Thanks Jude for your comments, I bought online - Wellsprings 20-1.

    The instructions are to put it on upper arms, lower tummy, hips, buttocks and inner thighs, on both sides of your body.  It is a progesterone cream with added estrogen.

    Having re-read I see that it can be used vaginally but I'm nervous as it made me so nauseas, so quickly.

    My doctor (UK) has no options for me really.

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  • Posted

    I have had vaginal dryness and some pain and pressure-type feelings, and am drying DHEA/estriol cream?

    You get it through a compounding pharmacy. DHEA goes deeper than estrogen to restore and build supportive muscle tissue and is also supposed to help with libido. 

    Estriol, vs. estradiol, is the weaker estrogen and shown to help support vaginal tissues better.

    So might give those a try?

    If you can't get it through a doctor, which can be a real pain, because they either don't agree with it, or don't know anything about it and just want to give you drugs or chemical-altered pill hormones, there's a practitioner who has a vaginal cream called julva online that has DHEA in it.

    Hope this helps! We are all in the same boat with you!

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    • Posted

      THANkyou so much for this info! It’s definitely something I want to try but it does seem quite complicated. I am going to see Dix first and if not I’ll book to see someone st the Well woman clinic.  Thanks so much and hope ur ok too? Xx
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    • Posted

      Been using Estrace vaginal cream! Works great.  Thickens the walls of the vagina. Thinning out in menapause.  Probably another version of the estriol mentioned by Julie! So important to see menapause specialist not just a gynecologist. They’ll take care of you properly. Hope this helps!
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